A Jealousy - Harvard commonapp writing supplement (free topic)

You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:

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Few days ago, the result of the National Science Olympiad was published. Stacia, a friend I met in the provincial olympiad of informatics, won gold medal in Informatics and would likely be presented for the International Olympiad of Informatics (IOI). I was happy for her, but I couldn't deny my own feeling that I was jealous.

My chance to present my country in the IOI was vanished by two cups of coffee that I drank before the provincial selection. The coffee made my heart beated too fast, thus I couldn't concentrate on the problem sets. I couldn't even solve a Riemann's sum, which was usually my specialty. All my effort, my sleep hours that I dedicated for solving problems in online judges, classes that I skipped for training, became useless. The coffee also wept away the hope of the whole civitas academica of my school to see me getting a medal in the national olympiad.

For Stacia, minor physical disturbance as I endured won't be a problem, she'd been too experienced. She went to Petra, an expensive private school in the capital city of our province, which had a very good olympiad preparation program. She had won a prestigious national programming contest in 9th grade; she'd probably learned programming in elementary school and had robotic courses since kindergarten.

But I wasn't as lucky as Stacia. I live in a small city with not many opportunities to develop myself. I'd never touched a computer until 5th grade. I learned programming just three months prior to the selection, thus I needed total focus to solve problems that are pieces of cake for her.

I'm not saying that Stacia didn't deserve it, she truly deserve the medal. She prepared herself much better than I; she had been trained for years, while I only had less than three months. I just want to have a chance to prepare myself better, so I can achieve higher.

It was painful to realize that my chance of presenting my country in the IOI gone forever. There's nothing I can do for it, nothing I can do to relieve the pain and jealousy I felt. I have to let it go. But I'm not going to let go my passion in computer and my chance to be a world-class computer engineer in the future.

I won't say I'm excellent in computer science. I can make some simple computer programs and imagine the algorithm for many computer processes, but I can't make complicated programs yet. But my addiction to solving programming problems make me sure to be engaged in this field in my entire life; I would love to spend the next six years drowning in codes and algorithms. I may not be good now, but I will be a world class computer engineer in the future.

As for now, I study my friend's computer science college lecture from Nanyang Technological University and enroll myself in HarvardX online course, while watching Stacia's progress towards the IOI.

- Always capitalize event titles
- ... Olympiad of Informatics... presented for the International Olympiad of Informatics competition . I couldn't deny my jealous feelings.


- My chance to represent my country in the IOI vanished because of two cups of coffee...


- ... so I could not...


- All my efforts , lost sleep hours that I dedicated to problem solving with... the coffee also swept away..


- Stacia would not have been disturbed by the minor inconvenience of 2 cups of coffee like I was. She was too experienced.


-... contest in the 9th...


- truly deserved the...


- she had been trained for years . While I ... I just wanted to have... so I could. .. achieve higher goals .


- my chance to represent ... was gone...


- ... I can do about it, let go of my passion for computers.. .


- makes me sure that I will be engaged in this field my entire life.


- and enrolled myself in the

These minor corrections should help polish your essay :-) You related a very interesting and engaging story. Congratulations on achieving that :-)

thank you Vangiespen, you're very helpful as always :)

what do you think if I modify the end? (green text : modification)

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It was painful to realize that my chance to present my country in the IOI was gone forever. There's nothing I can do about it, nothing I can do to relieve the pain and jealousy I felt. I have to let it go. But I'm not going to let go of my passion for computers.

I won't say I'm excellent in computer science. I can make some simple computer programs and imagine the algorithm for many computer processes, but I can't make complicated programs yet. Nonetheless, my addiction to solving programming problems in online judges ensured myself of the choice I made for my future : I want to be a world-class computer engineer. I would love to spend the next six years, or even my entire life, drowning in codes and algorithms.

Unlike Stacia, I wasn't provided with resources to pursue my goals; I have to find my own. I have to (and will) carve my own way to the best education I can get, world-class teachers to teach me to be a world-class engineer, research opportunities to get deep scientific understanding, and connection to gain access towards excellence.

Theodore von Karman once said, "Scientist study the world as it is; engineers create the world that has never been." Yes, I want to create the world that has never been before! I want to be involved in the development of digital technology that may bring revolution towards the way people live, like the development of social media that changes the way people socialize . In the future, I want to see my signature in people's life around the world.

As for now, I study my friend's computer science college lecture from Nanyang Technological University and enrolled myself in HarvardX's CS50 online course, while watching Stacia's progress towards the IOI.

You made an excellent addition to the essay! There are just a few points that you need to revise. I believe that after applying these corrections, your essay will be ready for submission :-)


- Nevertheless , my addiction to...
- You need to clarify what you mean by online judges. Do you join online competitions? That sentence has never been clear since the very first version of your essay. You need to clarify and explain this sentence more thoroughly.


- I had to...



"Scientists study...

Talk about impact! You had a stroke of genius with this paragraph :-) Good luck with your application!