PLEASE HELP! I would appreciate editing and/or suggestions :)
Prompt: Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed. (2000 characters, currently at 1978)
Her name was Jessica. She wore purple most days so I can assume that was her favorite color. Although we went to the same high school and lived streets away from each other, we never met. We did not have any classes together but I remember seeing her every day on my way to class.
One day Jessica never made it back home from school. I was halfway through my Calculus class my senior year when the entire class heard the train that passed next to the school come to a halt. Not knowing exactly what had occurred, we absentmindedly resumed class. However, the mood quickly changed when we were required to stay inside. Hours later, it was announced Jessica was dead; she was walking onto the tracks to cut through to the neighborhood behind the school wearing her headphones, and she did not notice the train and was struck.
These words hung heavily on me. A young life taken away by mere carelessness. It was not fair. The thought of Jessica's parents burying and mourning the life of their 17 year old daughter haunted me. One moment saying goodbyes, to never say hello's again. Through silent tears, I looked around to see other people's reactions. It sickened me to see people oblivious of the situation return to their doodles, homework or chattering, completely unperturbed. They did not care because they had no real relation to her. In their eyes, her death was insignificant and I am ashamed to say that before Jessica's accident I, as well, was one of the many who would not notice if she were to never come back to school.
I no longer take people for granted. I cannot part my way without fixing an argument or without "I love you" or "Take care" because I have learned from her that our lives can change in a span of seconds and it is too often that we become absorbed in the trivial details of life and not savor the moment with the people we care about fully. Jessica will never know the impact she had on me but every day I spread her message. She was significant.
Hello Girl/Guy!
First off, my condolences for Jessica.
I no longer take people for granted. I cannot part my wayswith somebody without fixing an argument or without saying "I love you" or "Take care" because I have learned from herJessica that our lives can change in a span of seconds and we oftenit is too often thatwe become absorbed in the trivial details of life and notthat we forget to savor the moment with the people we care about fully. Jessica will never know the impact she had on me but every day I spread her message. She was significant.
Hello Girl/Guy!
First off, my condolences for Jessica.
Girl :) thank you @HarvardAccept
I was wondering since you gave me very good feedback, could you please read my main essay titled 'The Perks of Being Tenacious' (I need a new title) and see what you think/like it or not? Help!
No offense, but this story sounds so BSed...
I would never write about something like this if it wasn't true. I was going to send you the news article that came out when Jessica's accident occurred to prove you wrong, but I won't do it to not reveal Jessica's full name. If it sounds 'BSed' as you say, instead of merely criticizing, can you write any suggestions on how to improve it?
It's okay br2pi5... Some people are ignorant.
Rewrite this essay and I'll give a second edit.
Found the article about Jessica... It's real.
How did you find it?? wow. at least you know now it's real and I wasn't lying.
HarvardAccept! I need your help! Would you say my main common app essay ("No longer a wallflower") fits the prompt "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you" or "Topic of your choice"?
