Jewelry Salesperson Extracurricular experience Common App essay

For this prompt:
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I would appreciate any comments, suggestions, editing :)

I wrestled with the locks of jewelry glass case as I fumbled to insert the key. As I pushed all the merchandise on top of the case off to the side, anxiety increased inside my stomach. Although the customer seemed to be waiting patiently, the reality was: within the minute or two, if the quality of the product or price didn't satisfy her expectations, the customer is gone and moved on to the next kiosk to purchase a similar or possibly the exact item. I tried to recall the resale price within the seconds I had, assuring that I did not inform them of a price too low to lose profit and yet, not a high bizarre price to intimidate them. While maintaining my posture in front of my first customer, I reiterated the description and details of the piece my mom taught me. I couldn't let my mom's business or expectation for me diminish with my first sale. The customer slowly reached towards her wallet to pull out her credit card. My experience as a jewelry salesperson emerged from then.

If I could, I wish to add more but I am at the limit... seems incomplete to me though
Thank you for help in advance!

Very interesting topic, however it seems to me that you could do more to highlight a personal attribute about yourself. Ask yourself what an admissions representative will take from reading your short answer. Also this sentence might be a little verbose and could use revision: "I tried to recall the resale price within the seconds I had, assuring that I did not inform them of a price too low to lose profit and yet, not a high bizarre price to intimidate them."

Other than that, well written and I hoped I helped!

thank you for your input! I'll consider that :)