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JHU Supplement Essay - Why Writing Seminars?


kenzo_kun 2 / 6  
Dec 26, 2009   #1
Prompt: Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this supplement, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose?

Major Choice: Writing Seminars
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Johns Hopkins University is one of the nation's leading colleges for Pre-medical studies as well as medical doctorate degrees. However, while this is certainly a notable achievement among colleges, it often causes people to overlook another beneficial program at JHU - the English department. The college has been rated as one of the greater schools to receive a degree in writing from and has one of the top university publishing presses in the country. These were the two major reasons behind my application to Johns Hopkins for my undergraduate studies. Yet it was not until I began my supplement that I discovered a specific discipline which immediately caught my attention. While most universities offer only a vague English program, JHU has a major which appeals specifically to my interests in name, description, and curriculum - the Writing Seminars major.

When I was an elementary student, English was my worst subject. I was a daydreamer, so it was not an issue of coming up with ideas - it was one of knowing how to turn those ideas into words. My parents, realizing this scholastic handicap, sent me to the Renaissance Academy, an extra-educational group. There they designed my extra curriculum, designed to help me with my most crippling field. They showed me exercises to understand the rules of grammar and had me read complete novels in order to learn how others express themselves. They gave me the tools I needed to use this language which had so paralyzed me before.

From there, I entered my secondary education at Hanalani Schools. In my freshman year of high school, we were required to write short stories for our composition class. While most of my peers only wrote one or two pages - the required amount - I wrote five. I could not help but unleash all of the ideas that I had into this assignment. Not only did I receive the highest grade on that assignment out of my class, but my friends asked me to write more. I was thrilled! They actually enjoyed my writing! It was at this point that I realized that this was what I wanted to do with my life. I loved the exhilaration that came over me as I made life come forth from a blank page by merely adding words to it! To me, writing was no longer just an assignment or an art - it was my instrument of creation.

I would like to say that I feel as though the very course of my life has led me to the decision of becoming an author as a profession. I have always had a desire to find something more out there, and writing my own stories has helped me to do that. During my international travels, I am constantly inspired by the works of human civilization as well as the natural wonders of creation. Through my experience as an actor, I have seen what it is like to live the life of someone other than yourself and I have learned how to express myself through the arts. It is because of all of this that I wish to "create my own worlds," if you will - to craft a piece of fiction that truly allows the reader to escape the mundane and find adventure while still being able to enjoy the things of this world. Though I am young, I have already seen much that this world has to offer - I have already had my adventure. Now I wish to share that feeling with the world. Yet in order to do this, I must first master my craft.

I tend to liken my mind to a field - freshly cultivated and sown by my high school education. While this preparation stage was much work in itself, the job is far from complete. Before I may harvest the crops of my success, my field must be nurtured further in the natural elements of the world. In order for a crop to ripen fully, it needs provisions of the highest grade: sunlight, water, and soil. In this way, the pasture that is my intellect must be allowed to grow in an environment which will truly stimulate it. It is for this purpose I wish to attend a school such as Johns Hopkins - a prestigious university which I believe provides the sufficient challenge which is necessary to turn people into truly worthwhile members of society. I am confident that I will be able to face this test which will allow me to reap the quality grains of my harvest at its end.

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Word count: 758

Please tell me what you think about my essay. If you think it is too long, tell me what areas you think it could do without. Also, if you would like, a rating of it would be greatly appreciated.

paranormale 4 / 32  
Dec 26, 2009   #2
More JHU people! :D

Ok, I love your essay. It's very person, you have a wonderful voice and it really portrays why you want to go to JHU.

On the other hand however, it was a long essay to read through. If I were to suggest you leave out anything it would be a majority of your second paragraph.

"There they designed my extra curriculum, designed to help me with my most crippling field. They showed me exercises to understand the rules of grammar and had me read complete novels in order to learn how others express themselves. They gave me the tools I needed to use this language which had so paralyzed me before."

I feel like this part of your essay is the most irrelevant part to your journey towards an English major. Other than that I feel like I can give you no more advice on your essay. :] If you have time, could you take a look at my essay as well?

Good luck!
OP kenzo_kun 2 / 6  
Dec 26, 2009   #3
paranormale
I actually already checked over your essay! I liked it a lot! Thanks for helping me out. I thought it could use some trimming and that's a pretty well sized chunk to drop. Do you think I should combine my second and third paragraph in that case?
paranormale 4 / 32  
Dec 26, 2009   #4
Oh. Well thank you!

Combining the those two paragraphs would probably be the best idea right now. Maybe add a sentence about the Renaissance Academy in the middle to make it flow better.
anonymoushelper - / 1  
Dec 27, 2009   #5
I love this essay!... Enough about what I like. I think what you want is critique.

Two things I noticed:

"Though I am young, I have already seen much that this world has to offer - I have already had my adventure. Now I wish to share that feeling with the world."

Do not say you have ALREADY HAD your adventure. Don't you want the admissions people to think you will enhance your imagination and creativity through even more adventures? In this part, I get the feeling of an old English teacher who is about to retire... or something.

Even though the metaphor in the last paragraph is awesome, it is ... slightly random. Do you think you can include something about the field in the beginning of the essay so that you can do a tie-around? I think it would make your essay more powerful.

Good job overall! I can't seem to find any grammar/spelling mistakes.
OP kenzo_kun 2 / 6  
Dec 28, 2009   #6
Haha! Thank you very much for your help. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it. Any suggestions on how to tie in the metaphor at the end?


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