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a job as a newspaper carrier - Common Application short answer (Activity)


ktcat4002 2 / 8  
Dec 22, 2009   #1
Common application short answer: Describe an activity (150 words)

When I first heard there was an opening for a job as a newspaper carrier, I was pretty hesitant to accept it. I knew nothing about delivering papers, and there was no way I was getting up at six p.m. on weekends for the rest of my high school career. Now that my paper route no longer exists and I'm out of a job, I genuinely miss it. What I miss most is the hour after school where I could just walk through that familiar sub-division and reflect on my day. Though the paper route was a mostly monotonous job, I enjoyed the period of peace that I no longer experience. I even miss trudging through the winter snow, though after twenty minutes my feet would be soaked. What I thought would be the a necessary evil turned out to be an honestly fun experience.

147 words

nc08dkia 4 / 23  
Dec 22, 2009   #2
Kassandra,

and I'm out of a job

I think since u mentioned that the paper route no longer exists does imply that you were jobless, however if u want to stress the fact that u miss having a job as well, i think its better to say "...and i'm jobless"

What I miss most is the hour after school where I could just walk through that familiar sub-division and reflect on my day

replace could with would : "where I would just walk through..."
since the reader doesnt know which subdivision you are talking about, 'that' might not be the correct word, and i cant think of a suggestion right now..

What I thought would be the a necessary evil

I think you need to revise that : "the necessary evil"
and perhaps you might consider changing necessary with absolute? necessary evil sounds a bit unfamiliar

Good inspiration!
OP ktcat4002 2 / 8  
Dec 22, 2009   #3
Thanks for your feedback!

I meant actually meant "a necessary evil." I didn't even see that error.
And I was referring to the term: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necessary_Evil
sportybluei 7 / 40  
Dec 22, 2009   #4
I agree with Dana, in that the last sentence is a little awkward. Maybe you could phrase it differently. =]

Also, you could bring down the negative tone in some parts, such as the "monotonous" part, and emphasize the positive side of your job. If you word those differently, your essay will be great! I like it, because it's really descriptive.
OP ktcat4002 2 / 8  
Dec 22, 2009   #5
I didn't even think about the tone. Ironically, I've been reading about how the words one uses affects the overall tone, despite what you're actually saying.

I've been having trouble with the ending because I want to say a few more sentences, but I don't have many words >_<
sportybluei 7 / 40  
Dec 22, 2009   #6
Actually the tone isn't so negative. Don't worry! I just thought it would be better if you reworded or rephrased the "monotonous" part, and the last sentence as well, because you already mentioned you not being enthusiastic about your prospective job in the beginning.

I'm going through the same trouble with the ending, I understanding what you mean. :)


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