Job as a pizza delivery driver - Common App Short Answer

Hey!

I'm applying to colleges this January and I'm looking for some suggestions on my short answer. I wrote about a job as a pizza delivery driver.

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Americans consume 100 acres of pizza a year, 57 square miles of saucy, cheesy paradise. I am lucky enough to deliver pizza and give little boxes of bliss to Bronx Pizza Company customers in the Syosset, NY area. I may not be saving lives, but I am keeping people happy and full. I realized I have great customer service, phone, and time management skills. I have learned how to divvy up duties and take orders. The cooks taught me enough Spanish to break the language barrier a bit. I was able to find a balance between working and keeping my grades up. I had to practice my memorization skills to learn the menu backwards and forwards. I used mnemonics to help and I have begun using this skill at school. I impressed my manager so much that I was given a key to the store. Despite the fun I have had, I recognize the value of a college education because it is difficult to support oneself on minimum wage (no matter how many free slices of pizza I am given). For now, I am content being a primo purveyor of pizza, but I cannot wait to take the skills I have learned to the next level at college and my future career.

Wow.... interesting : )


... I feel "contented" goes better with "happy" : )
This is a simple but strong sentence! Lovely !


... I prefer if you replace customer service skill with Peoples skill (that's a frequently used management term which includes everything to do with people. And of course,customer service is about servicing people )

Again phone with communication !


..... " cooks" ? why not say they are your fellow workers?
I also learned Spanish from my fellow workers that helped me service my Hispanic clients better.


.... good point!
I suggest you to first finish telling all job related skills you learned; PR, Communication(phone+ Spanish), Time management, memorization etc. Then tell how this experience helped you outside the job (for you to grow as a person); better organization (grades), financial etc.

I like how you started with a cool fact. I helps grab the readers attention.

this is a lovely essay and I really love it! It demonstrated your ability and achievement well.

Love it! Well-written and attention-grabbing.
The only suggestion I have would be a little more sentence variety. Quite a few started out with "I".


<-----amazing alliteration!