1. Write a brief essay in which you respond to the following question.
(freshman applicants only): Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this supplement, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)
Why do I want to study science at Johns Hopkins? Because "In the Krieger School, no matter what discoveries you choose to pursue, your only limit is your imagination." This statement on the website of the Zanvyl Krieger School of Arts and Science captured my attention immediately, for my curiosity of the how life works is what prompted me to dedicate myself to Biochemistry and Molecular Biology.
How I developed interest in Biochemistry goes back to when I was in grade 3. Fascinated by my body's changes after suffering from chicken pox, I initially conjectured that there must be some kind of alteration in my brain that caused the itchy rashes. Maybe a part of brain was infected by these bad viruses and would malfunction for the rest of my life. Or, possibly these viruses didn't affect my brain at all; maybe there were so many of them, they just stacked up and caused the rashes. While my parents and doctor refuted my reasonable notion and explained, as simple as they could, the concept of how viruses invade cells and disrupt the normal cell functions, I apparently did not understand any, despite my strenuous effort.
But, I did realize that I would never suffer from the disease ever again, as my body grew "immune" to the same type of pathogens.
Years have passed since my body overcame the chicken pox, and I found myself studying abroad in Canada. But the scars remain on my face and my chest, reminding me of my inconclusive hypothesis regarding this disease I suffered from. Now, with the knowledge of DNA and RNA replication that I picked up in high school Biology classes, I realize how imaginative I was back then, driven by curiosity and intense desire to figure out the internal mechanism of my own body.
It is this imagination that turned me to Biochemistry, the study of chemical processes inside an organism. At the same time, my interest grew regarding many diseases, such as the familiar chicken pox, small pox, and HIV/AIDs, which can be cured with more knowledge of viral activities. And as seen with small pox, it is possible to eradicate these killers once for all. Hence, by studying Molecular Biology and learning how to practice gene therapy, the treatment of pathosis by manipulating genes, I hope to contribute, however small part, to raising our standards of living and prevent people from suffering like I did.
Still working on my conclusion...
This is a really great essay, I don't know what to say!
You answered the question perfectly!
Since you are still working on your conclusion, I think you should say what you will do in the future with a degree in biochemistry...i.e help others understand their illnesses, help those in need...etc.
Overall, good job!
How I developed interest in Biochemistry goes back to when I was in grade 3.
I think you should replace this (above) with a powerful sentence. This one is kind of weak, but I don't know how to explain why.
Hence, by studying Molecular Biology and learning how to practice gene therapy, the treatment of pathosis by manipulating genes, I hope to contribute
however small part, to th
e process of raising our standards of living and prevent people from suffering like I did.
I agree with the above post
How I developed interest in Biochemistry goes back to when I was in grade 3.
This is a sentence fragment. I would revise this to make it a full sentence. Also, I would change the 3 to three.
And as seen with small pox, it is possible to eradicate these killers once for all.
Word choice- I would substitute "killers" with another word, if possible.
Good idea! But needs the grammar revisions to flow more smoothly
How I developed interest in Biochemistry goes back to when I was in grade 3
You should change this to something like.."My interest in Biochemistry developed when I was in grade 3."
While my parents and doctor refuted my reasonable notion and explained, as simple as they could, the concept of how viruses invade cells and disrupt the normal cell functions, I apparently did not understand any, despite my strenuous effort.
This is a very long sentence. You should consider breaking it up, and rephrase it.
Hence, by studying Molecular Biology and learning how to practice gene therapy, the treatment of pathosis by manipulating genes, I hope to contribute, however small part, to raising our standards of living and prevent people from suffering like I did.
This sentence is also very long. Same thing, break it up into two.
Or, possibly these viruses didn't affect my brain...
Try to avoid contractions such as "didn't." Change to "did not."
Otherwise, I think it's pretty good. You definitely have some good words there. Just keep reading it and think about rephrasing some of those long sentences. Try to keep it clear and concise.
