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Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay -Origins


AbhaJ19 6 / 12  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
Here's the first supplemental essay from Johns Hopkins.
The essay prompt is:

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

Origins
The natural world in all its multi-faceted glory has held me in awe for years.
But of all its wonders, the evolution of the human species - the dawn of Homo sapiens - particularly enthralls me.
I became fascinated by the origin of humans ever since I read Carl Zimmer's book "Where did we come from?", a book that deals with human evolution My interest for this idea was amplified last summer after researching for my Biology project titled "Phylogenetic Analysis of the position of human beings among the great apes". This interest has now culminated into an obsession: I just need to know how we came to be who we are today.

While looking through the list of majors offered by Johns Hopkins, I came across the Biology and Archeology programs. I felt both were holistic in terms of the subjects and individual courses offered. In particular, I was interested in the Biology course on Human Evolution(Course No.020.366).

While reading Mr. Zimmer's book, several ideas wafted through my head. These included the study of the biological characteristics (e.g. cranial capacity) of the later hominids, such as those of the genii Australopithecus and Homo, to mark the gradual change in anatomical structure and to see if changes in human anatomy and morphology were manifested as changes in behavior. I believe that I can check the veracity of these notions by studing courses in both biology and archeology, which I believe are deep and challenging fields.

And I hope that where the threads of hominid evolution and human artifacts do entwine, I may help to unravel the mystery behind the emergence of the human species.

Please give your comments!!!
makman09 9 / 86  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
Your essay has potential to be stronger. When I read the first paragraph, you tell me your fascinated by evolution and you want to know more about it. Why are you fascinated and why do you want to know more/ You don't answer those question in the essay. T

The second paragraph offers no purpose. Your just listing evolutionary concepts to make yourself look intelligent.
Address your passion for evolutionary biology and don't list evolutionary concepts without reason.
Good luck with it!

Could you return the favor by giving my Yale Supplement Essay a read?
Strawberry78 4 / 52  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
How does taking these very specific courses contribute to you and your future. Elaborate.

Help on mine please.
fiyero49 3 / 5  
Dec 29, 2011   #4
I really like where you're going, but I agree wholeheartedly with the other posters. Please make some changes and repost so we can help out after some edits. :)


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