Goingsomewhere 1 / 4 Feb 19, 2013 #1Hello, I need help with my Personal Statement ( to transfer to VCU) I had one written but the College Writing Center Lady said it was too Personal. She said write more about VCU so I tried to work that in there but it is like two different essays. Can you give me some directionEssay 250-300 words Tell us about yourself and why you want to go to VCUWhen I was a senior in high school I received an open house invitation to Virginia Commonwealth University it was the only school I had ever wanted to attend but I was too afraid to apply. Over the years I collected many VCU brochures at various transfer fairs and college information seminars soon they became less of a tool for success and more a reminder of my shortcomings. The depression I fell into led me to discover a fruitful sense of self. The first step I had to take in my journey to happiness was fleeing from a toxic relationship. In this union I was the abused and the abuser. I hurt myself with a sharp tongue and defaming words like loser, failure, useless, weak, and broken. I was convinced the world could see my lack so I wore these verses as skin but they were brittle and offer little protection. Eventually we must learn the universe does not coddle a shrinking violet. We learn humbling ourselves to a point of dysfunction is not only a disservice to us but the world. Denying the wonderment of our being is submitting to a falsehood. I found that I was strong and beautiful. The best thing about this understanding is convincing others of their worth. I am wake with the realization that nothing is being done to me but instead for my benefit. Experiences I was once ashamed of have become beautiful tools to help me flourish. I am no longer afraid to leap for fear no one will catch me but I am confident in my ability not only to stand on my own two feet but thrive.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592 Feb 20, 2013 #2When I was a senior in high school I received an open house invitation to Virginia Commonwealth University,itwhich was the only school I had ever wanted to attend but I was too afraid to apply..... which was the school I was dreaming to attend, but felt too afraid to apply.Over the years I collected many VCU brochures at various transfer fairs and college information seminarsthat soon they became less of a tool for success and more a reminders of my shortcomings ensuring my failure with my application .The depression I fell into led me to discover a fruitful sense of self.I too agree with that Lady to some extent. You cut down on elaborating inner feelings. Talk about it briefly, but not in so much detail. Then come to the point thay you are now confident with your application and how VCU would help you reach your goals. You need to talk about your goals too :)
Didgeridoo - / 306 191 Feb 20, 2013 #3You write very well, but the essay asks you to write about yourself. All I've learned about you after reading this essay is that you really want to go to VCU, and that you were once extremely insecure but managed to find the confidence to pursue your dreams. That's good, but I don't know what you want to major in at VCU or what you want to be when you grow up or what clubs you would be interested in joining. I think you should still include more about why you want to go to VCU,
