Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
A young man coming off a strenuous ten hour flight from England arrived in LAX with an empty pocket. At the age of 21, he knew little about American society and culture. He left his family and friends in hopes of more opportunities to succeed and achieve something nobody else in his family had achieved. Working his way up, he was able to open his own business through diligence and persistence. This man, who made sacrifices everyday to support his wife and children, was my father. As a child, I can recall sleeping with my family on the floor in our small apartment. We had no furniture at all. My father used to come home late every day after a long, arduous day of work. He always used to tell me about his journey to America, and how he worked so hard to put food on the table. Gradually, my father's hard work paid off and our family was in a much better state than before.
It was no surprise that I, as a child, was not aware and did not fully understand what my father had done to support my family. However, as I got older and began to mature, I understood that my father had sacrificed his time, money, and effort for my family's wellbeing. My father's road to success has played a key role in shaping who I am. When I started working for my father as a cashier, I admired the way he had prioritized his tasks when running his business. As a child and still today, my father mentions to me, "procrastination is a sign of failure." My father does not procrastinate and he finishes his errands as soon as he can. In school, I use the same techniques when I am assigned homework and projects that I have to complete by a deadline. Not only does this mindset help me now in school, it will also help me in college and when I have a career. My father's dedication has influenced me never give up on anything. Throughout my childhood, and still today, my father always stresses the value of money. He always tells me, "money doesn't grow on trees." Therefore, I have learned to not take money for granted. Whenever I am buying something, I always ask myself is it worth buying, and how will it help me. The value for money will help me throughout my career because I will appreciate what I earn, and learn how to use it wisely.
My father's journey to success in America inspires me now and will continue to inspire me in the future. I plan to complete my undergraduate degree in economics, and get an MBA in finance. After I receive my MBA, my dream is to work for a successful financial firm. My father's dedication and persistence will be a source for inspiration when I am working to achieve these goals. I will always treasure his formula for success throughout my life. I have learned important values from my father and will continue to implement these values into my life. As I take on more challenges in my life, these values will be a source of light in the darkness.
Editing would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
This is an amazing essay because it simply is about nothing at all !!
Reading this, one has the impression that you must be a very dull person. Timid and with no spark. You would be better off, even in real life, questioning how much your father really did do.. making you appear less like the stereotype "good and obedient child."
Then again, if you really are timid as you appear here, you must surely have been bullied in your neighborhood. Maybe in real life you're quite the 'cat' around, but now sitting down to write this essay are just unable to express all that aggression. I hope this is true, since that might influence the admission officers more than your dull, dull story.
Maybe, in real life you're also a rebel around your own house, standing up to your dad, instead of being the dominated person you appear to be. Try talking about something other than money, and how important it is to save. Try talking about the opposite. You probably hate the idea about saving anyway, since you've heard so much of that since childhood.
Yes, this is a good one. My only advice is that you should probably get specific at the end about what your plan is. What are the organizations you would like to work for, or what is the kind of business you want to enter? You do not talk about your dreams and aspirations, but it is your dreams and aspirations that you are trying to achieve by enrolling in this school -- so tell them about your plan. Plan it all out!
