Please help me out reviewing this essay...I think I repeated myself with the word "Math" and "tutor" a lot but I cant think of any other way to reword them in order to express my ideas. Also, I'm missing somewhat of my "passion" for math...and im confuse on how to include it...please help me out with this...i will be realli appreciated for your help!!!
Prompt: What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
As a little girl, I always made my parents felt embarrassed about my habit for playing around with numbers and calculators, instead of Barbie dolls and makeup. I was always being judged for favoring Math as my subject because in girls traditionally, in my country, favorite reading, drawing, or music. Since I was very young, my parents discouraged my education, and soon enough, I became the "bad" girl in the family. As I grew older, these encounters worsened. I began receiving personal criticism, such as "you must be crazy to major in Math", or being greeted with blank stares and awkward smiles whenever I mentioned that Math was the passion of my life. At some point in my life, I almost gave up; I felt it was useless to continue my education because no one was on my side. However, S. Gudder changed my mind with his quote, "The essence of mathematics is not to make simple things complicated, but to make complicated things simple." I started to realize that what people said was no longer important, it was unnecessary to create complicity in simple things; I decided to continue my Math path and prove that my parents were wrong for judging me. Math had soon taken up most of my life and being a math teacher became my aspiration.
Math is like a drug, it got me passionate. In order to get myself more involved, I joined Math Club when I was in High School, and I challenged myself every month with the California Math League. Although Math becomes more exigent as its level increased, I felt as if it was entertainment in my life. Math not only taught me how to "plug and chug" or how to prove theorems; it also opened my mind to an abstract world. I was able to have a different view of the world, and I realize one plus one is no longer two. As we all know, Math principles have been passed down from generations to generations over thousands of years, across countries and continents. In order to continue passing down the knowledge of Math as well as connecting with it even more, I wanted to have a real life experiences so I volunteer as a Math tutor. I was lucky to be given an opportunity to tutor first and second graders. Although I was only helping them with homework questions, I still enjoyed it because I was able to help people as well as practice my Math. Moreover, I began working as a private tutor for high school students, from Algebra I to Calculus.
Math is like an endless ladder, in order to reach the top, one needs to make sure to stand stable in each step. In Math, if one fall behind in part of a level, he/she will has a difficult time continuing because each level requires the knowledge of the previous level. When I was given the opportunity to be a Math tutor, I felt thankful since I was able to help those people who struggled in Math. As a tutor, I loved the feeling of seeing my "students" say "Oh! I get it!" or "That's how it works", or simply a smile; these expressions automatically brightened my day. I felt that I had contributed part of my life to this world; helping people has always been my pleasure. Besides helping others, working as a tutor also helped me review my knowledge of Math. As most of us should know, Math is a subject that needs to be practiced and reviewed every day, because once it stops being used; one tends to forget the necessary technique. Therefore, my experience in Math tutoring helped me to shape my knowledge and build a stronger bond between myself and Math.
In pursuing my career as a Math teacher, I'm considering to obtain a Master Degree in Math. As of for now, I am sure of one thing: I'm going to pass down my knowledge of Math for future generation. In today world, due to the upgrade of technology, I feel a stronger push for myself to be out there and teach our future generation the math skills and technique, and get our future generation's brain functioning before the technology hurricane hits.
I liked your essay. I do think that you used the word math too many times, so you can probably cut some out here and there and replace it with "it". Also the beginning of your essay was really good where you are talking about your dreams but I think that you should tie it in the second part a little bit.
Math is like a drug, it got me passionate. This sentence is good but awkwardly phrased. It feels weird where it is though.
I was always
being judged for favoring Math as my subject because in girls traditionally in my country prefer reading, drawing, or music.
I started to realize that what people said was no longer important because it was unnecessary to create complicity in simple things. I decided to continue to pursue
my Math path and prove that my parents were wrong for judging me. In Math,If one fall behind in part of a level, they will has a difficult time continuing because each level requires the knowledge of the previous level.
Can you please help edit my essay also? Thank you.