The whole question is asked like this: are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?
An average person judges an individual instantaneously without meeting a set of good criteria. People tend to hate or dislike people accordingly to what they have seen, mostly, in a glance. One of the factors to be considered if a person is effulgent is the scope of his accomplishments in life. I am molded to see the different perspectives of our society. My parents raised me as a God-fearing, diplomatic and a courteous person. At an early age, I am aware of the thought of my future. As a visual learner, I spend times imagining what I will be ten years from now. I accomplished a lot of things of my life. I strived to be responsible and eloquent up to the extent of my limit. I view these accomplishments as an essential guide that defines me as a person.
I am experiencing my high school life at Siena College of Taytay. Since my freshmen days, I am involved to different organizations or clubs that helped me to become what I am today, these organizations helped me realize that I own the capacity to lead and serve. One of the clubs is the Mentor's Society, where we teach our fellow students in a particular subject. I consider teaching as an accomplishment because you were able to share what you know to the others and becoming a living role model to them. I am also involved in an organization called the Youth for Christ. We, the youth, serve Christ unconditionally. Serving Christ is one of the best ongoing accomplishments of my life, as a Christian, I believe that spreading the word of Christ is one of the ways to live a healthy moral life. In our Citizenship Advancement Training, I am designated as a platoon leader of the 1st Battalion Delta Company. Regarding my designated position, it is one of the most important positions in the CAT. Being a platoon leader is not a joke, I am in charge of the privates' discipline and over-all performance in my platoon. Through our CAT, I am learning how to become an eminent leader and regarding of the things I am learning, I can use this knowledge throughout the struggles and challenges I will be facing. From the past years, I am a writer of our school's publication. It was a great accomplishment to know that I have the capacity to express my feelings into words. But today, instead of a writer, I am promoted as the layout artist. This year, I will be facing the job of becoming the head layout artist of our school's publication; I put this as the pursuit I shall prioritize the most because this opportunity will improve my visual and leading skills. In high school, we have these involvements called the "Apostolate". Our apostolate last year and this year is giving catechesis to the students in the public school. This apostolate overwhelms me until now because after sharing so many things to the children about God, I realized that I am blessed so much. These experiences and accomplishments are helpful and moved me a lot compared to the days from the past.
I never believed my goals are too high to reach. I am always positive that someday, I'll be the person I want myself to be. The accomplishment I always consider the best is leading others and of course, serving. Serving other people is not only for the betterment of themselves but also mine because I believe that it heightens my self-esteem, confidence and gives me a good feeling. Through serving, I can show that I have the power to share positive energy as well as I am positive that in the near future, I'll be able to serve family and the society. I believe that during my college life, I will be able to learn more things about life. I am willing to take high risks just to leave a memorable mark on this world.
-END-
Please check for grammar corrections and leave comments. :) Thanks.
1. People tend to hate or dislike people accordingly to what they have seen, mostly, in a glance.
2. I have accomplished a lot of things of in my life.
3. I view these accomplishments as anessential guides that defines me as a person.
4. Since my freshmenfreshman days. . .
5. . . . I am involved toin different organizations or clubs that helped me to become what I am today
6. Since my freshmen days, I am involved to different organizations or clubs that helped me to become what I am today, these organizations helped me realize that I own the capacity to lead and serve.Should be another sentence.
7. I consider teaching as an accomplishment because you wereare able to share what you know to others* and becomingbecome a living role model to them. *i think this could also be '. . . able to share to others what you know. either way would be fine, i guess.
8. Serving Christ is one of the best ongoing accomplishments of my life, as a Christian, I believe that spreading the word of Christ is one of the ways to live a healthy moral life. Sentence is too long. Maybe you could, like, split this into two, or something =)
Ex: Serving Christ is one of the best ongoing accomplishments of my life. As a Christian, I believe that spreading the word of Christ is one of the ways to live a healthy moral life.
9. I believe that spreading the word of Christ is one of the waysone way to live a healthy moral life. (Sentence was a bit wordy. Haha^^)
10. In our Citizenship Advancement Training, I am designated as a platoon leader of the 1st Battalion Delta Company. (Ooooh. I have nothing to correct about this sentence. I'm just admiring you :D)
11. '. . . and regarding of the things I am learning, I can use thisthese knowledge throughout the struggles. . .'
12. I amwas a writer of our school's publication.
13. It was a great accomplishment to know that I have the capacity to express my feelings into words. (Err. . . knowing about that isn't really an accomplishment. Perhaps you could cite a more specific one. Maybe you could modify this sentence a bit to make it better -something about that 'having the capacity to express, something something- :D)
14. I'll be able to serve family and the society. (Did you mean '. . . my family?'
I'm really sorry for the very long message! I didn't actually realize it was getting long, tho. Anyway, this is for ACET, right? Lol, this was our topic rin last year. Wow, I didn't know they'd still use it, haha. Your essay was good by the way. It just needs a liiiittle bit of modifying. Maybe then it'll be the essay that I envision it to be. Honestly, you have lots of things to say here. Just a bit of editing and you're done. Oh, I haven't checked the paragraph structures, though, only the grammars. Haha. Oh, I don't think there are a lot of mistakes about it naman eh, soooo no need to worry much.
I wish you good luck on ACET! Remember, don't cram too much. Hope you get in Ateneo. See ya there!
~Yanni Panesa
^ Thank you very much. And honestly, it's my first time to make this kind of essay. =))))
In our Citizenship Advancement Training, I am designated as a platoon leader of the 1st Battalion Delta Company. (Ooooh. I have nothing to correct about this sentence. I'm just admiring you :D)
Ha ha, you seem to be a fun, clever new member to our community, Jazielle! Nice to meet you.
Faustine, welcome! I'm admiring you, too.
Remember this rule for the verb tense:
Since XXXX, I have been...
Since my freshmen days, I have been involved...
involved to different organizations ... involved in different organizations...
I never believed my goals
are were too high to reach.
I am always positive that, someday, I'll be the person I want myself to be. The accomplishment I always consider the best is leading others and, of course, serving.---beautiful!! I added some commas, though.
Hey, I want you to be more specific about your goals. What is your plan? Tell us a little about your specific service goals.
^lol, thaaaanks. but then nooo. im no fun at all. haha, i donno. i guess i was just being random. nice to meet ya, as well! oh, call me yanni.
fandrei, heeeeey from which school are you from again? hope you don't mind me asking :D
Well, random stuff is the most fun. As for schools, I am a grad, not a teacher. Rhode Island College, Worcester State, and a few others here and there, ha ha. Now I write for a living, so I have a lot of grammar help to give. Thanks for being here! I look forward to seeing more from your interesting thinking-style.
Thank you!!
