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Fr. Julian: Common App- influential person essay.

acorbett19 1 / 1  
Nov 14, 2008   #1
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Hey I am looking for any feedback with grammar, sentence structure...etc. along with making sure it is clear how he influenced me. THANKS!

Every Sunday, I get up in the morning and go to a neighboring town, Elmer, to attend services at St. Ann's Church. One morning, the current priest at the time announced that he would be leaving the parish. A new priest would be saying mass next week and would become the new church administrator. The current priest told the congregation the new priest's name, Father Julian Karczewski, and gave the parishioners a helper to remember how to pronounce it: Car-Chef-Ski. Little did I know that I would soon develop a strong personal relationship with this stranger.

When Fr. Julian came to church the following Sunday, it was clear he had an exultant personality. Even though he walked with a marginal limp and was slightly hunched, he smiled all the time. So, when he announced the church was looking for a new person to help cut the grass and maintain the church lawns, I volunteered to help out realizing that he was clearly incapable of doing it himself.

Every time I completed my work, I would go into the rectory to let Fr. Julian know I was finished. This would often lead to a brief discussion about how my life was going and how I was doing in school. With time, my responses grew from a simple "good" and our brief discussions developed into conversations. We learned a lot about each other. For example, Fr. Julian became aware that I was an avid wrestler and I learned that he was very active as a young boy. He talked of his sometimes reckless love for adventure and some of his many hobbies such as riding bikes and enjoying the outdoors. He enjoyed telling tales of his youth and reminisced about a particular time which changed his life. One day as a child, he jumped into a lake and went swimming with his friends. His venturesome soul had finally caught up to him as he contracted the polio virus from swimming in the lake. This was not the only tragedy to befall Fr. Julian. When he was in his late thirties, he just woke up one day to find that he lost most of the hearing in both ears. I then knew it was those two handicaps that contributed to Fr. Julian's off-balance walk and limited hearing. I wondered how someone whose life was flipped completely upside down by a horrid virus could remain in such a jubilant mood all the time. Even though it was a chore for him to just walk down the aisle and up to the altar to say mass everyday, he continued to do so with a contagious smile on his face. In fact, he even attended my eighth grade graduation ceremony and encouraged me to write a homily that he would read one Sunday in church. At every meeting we had, Fr. Julian would remind me that I could be anything I wanted to be and to not let anything get in the way of that. His bubbly personality, despite his sickness, inspired me not to mourn too long on any one event and to stick with God in times of trouble.

A few years passed and it was apparent that Fr. Julian would no longer be able to serve as our church administrator. Finally in 2007, he retired and was sent to an assisted living center where he continued to say mass despite his deteriorating condition. Months passed and the sickness worsened to the point where he was unable to say mass for the residents. My family knew this would be a disheartening thing for Fr. Julian not to say mass. Knowing the impact he had on my life, I joined my parents to visit him. Nervous to see Fr. Julian in such a sick state, I reluctantly entered the room. He was napping but soon awoke with his trademark smile that I had come to love. He slowly reached out and grabbed my hand. "Andrew".

That's all he said at the moment, but that is all that he needed to say. I knew exactly what was going through his mind. All of those years, Fr. Julian assisted me through any imaginable situation, and I realized it was now my turn to help comfort him.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 14, 2008   #2
This is a beautiful story. Now you need to link how he influenced you, and how you changed because of this influence. Link that together with this, and your essay will be wonderful. Nice work.
OP acorbett19 1 / 1  
Nov 16, 2008   #3
Thank you for your time and revisions.

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