'the only junior flutist' - MIT- Biggest Challenge question

Please give me suggestions. I'm currently 25 words over the limit... thanks!

Prompt: Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

It wasn't until my junior year that I even became really serious about my flute playing. That fall and winter, I was really successful with everything I got involved in music-wise. Unfortunately, though, things quickly took a downhill turn. I was the only junior flutist not to get the top rating on their solo at District Solo and Ensemble. I, second chair flutist, got stuck with third part of our state-bound trio. I spent the remainder of the year mostly demoted to second part in band. In less than a year, my flute teacher went from expecting me to get first chair, to appearing to have lost faith in my abilities.

I tried to hide my hurt, but in my heart I wanted nothing more than to prove myself to my teacher. From early June until the November 12th NEKMEA All-District auditions, I practiced the audition piece several times a week. As the big day neared, I still couldn't sense my teacher's confidence increasing at all. The last time I saw her before my audition, the best she had to offer was "you never know with these things." I knew she was right, but at the same time I hated her for it, and that weekend was my chance to prove myself.

After hours of butterflies and anxious nail biting, the results were finally posted. I stood on my tip toes and leaned in over the competition to see something I couldn't believe. I had made 8th chair flute. I turned around with a beaming smile, and the school band director, there to congratulate us, put his arm around me and said, "You made it."

I liked the essay! However, i got a little confused. I thought the teacher you wanted to prove it to was a woman? But at the end, you talk about how the school band director was impressed. If I were you, I would just stick to one person to really bring the essay to a close. Good luck! (:

"...I was successful in every music related activity..."
It's more concise this way, and the word "really" is unnecessary.


Replace "hurt" with "pain"

I like how you transition from your nervous about the audition to after the auditions being over. It sparked my curiosity.

This essay is good, but is it strong? It can be if you condense your essay and try to show yourself as strong because in the end, you showed yourself as weak and nervous, but later delighted. Focus more on showing yourself as strong and determined to conquer the challenge.

Good Luck with MIT!

And can you give my common app - extracurricular essay a read?

Thanks, I'll take those suggestions into consideration. This is just my attempt at condensing a longer essay I had already written, so maybe it's just not meant to be a 200-250 word essay since I had to take so much out and try to generalize more.

I'll take a look at yours though