I'm applying to UNC Chapel Hill and had a lot of trouble with this even though it seems like such a simple prompt. Any input is greatly appreciated! This is my first draft...
After your long and happy life, your family must choose no more than a dozen words to adorn your headstone. What do you hope they choose, and why?
Loving, altruistic, optimistic, dedicated, sincere, thoughtful, and inspirational.
Together, these seven adjectives sum up all that I hope I am and all that I hope to be. I am loving. In a world full of hatred and anger, I try to spread my love through a mere smile to a stranger, a hug to someone struggling through a bad day, and a shoulder for those who need one to lean on. I refuse to be anything but loving toward my family, friends, acquaintances, and passing strangers. A little bit of love can change something as small as a second or something as long as a lifetime. I am altruistic. I always strive to help others before I worry about accommodating my own wants and needs. Most people are trying to succeed in this lifelong struggle of survival of the fittest, but by helping those in need we can all succeed and prosper together. Some of my greatest joy has been a result of helping others whether that is helping my five year old brother with his homework or making bagged lunches for hungry New Yorkers. I am optimistic. I cannot say that I am always looking on the bright side, but my family would agree that I am optimistic as often as I can be. When applying to colleges, I have full faith that the Admissions Committees will see all that I have to offer and when I found out that my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, I did not let it cross my mind that this disease could potentially kill one of the most wonderful people in my life. A little optimism goes a long way, and throughout the eighteen years of my life, I have seen my optimism help me get through the most devastating situations and I have seen it radiate onto everyone around me. I am dedicated. I pour my heart and soul into everything I do whether that is my job as a clerical assistant at a hospital or my leadership role in my college's Psychology Club. I am sincere. I am always speaking the way I truly feel and believe and I will thoughtlessly stand up for those beliefs. I never want to project an image of someone that I am not and I always want to be completely genuine and true to who I am. My intended major, Political Science, usually brings up controversial and relentless arguments, which is a forum for my sincerity, yet I am very careful in that I do not offend or insult anyone while trying to defend my own beliefs. I am thoughtful. I am always thinking things through and always giving everything the careful thought that it needs. Of these seven words I want to adorn my headstone, there is one that I am not sure that I am, yet it is the one adjective that I hope I am by the end of my lifetime: inspirational. I hope that through my love, altruism, optimism, dedication, sincerity, and thoughtfulness, I inspire others to be the best that they can be.When applying to colleges I have full faith that the Admissions Committees will see all that I have to offer, and when I found out that my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer I did not let it cross my mind that this disease could potentially kill one of the most wonderful people in my life. --------- that last part sounds more like denial than optimism. When you don't let yourself think about something it is denial. When you tend to think death must give way to new life like the turn of the seasons, that is optimism. Maybe you want to revise this part to include better examples or better support for your examples.
Is this all one long paragraph? It should probably have one paragraph for each word, but then it would have to have 7 body paragraphs, and intro, and a conclusion. I guess I think this should have a short intro paragraph, a long body paragraph about all the words, and then a short conclusion paragraph. But if you are allowed to write about 750 words, you can write a 4 sentence paragraph about each word and still have room for everything. Can you write 4 sentences about each word? If so, give each word its own paragraph.
:-)
