"Know how to ask "why" and "how" rather than "what." - Why UChicago?

Prompt: Why do you think that UChicago is a good match for you?
Any feedback will be appreciated! Thank you!
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"Let knowledge grow from more to more; and so be human life enriched"--this motto of University of Chicago embodies the concept of thinking, transforming, and thriving that I have been pursuing during high school and which I anticipate to experience in college. While the students in UChicago focus on critical thinking and academic communication, they also attach importance to extracurricular activities. Echoing the school motto, this intellectual, engaged, and ethnically varied student body learns how to balance its academic commitments and outdoor challenges, brewing the liberal Chicago School and the diverse club and intramural sports culture. This is the major reason why I am attracted by UChicago.

The house and advisory systems of UChicago also fascinate me. The distinctive house system would allow me to experience an intimate family life in the enormous campus, letting me make new friends more quickly and blend in the new collectivity more smoothly. While the house system serves as a coherent "home base" that helps students to extend their social life, the advisory system serves as a comprehensive consultant. Advisors who follow the students for four years are providing not only academic enlightenments but also parental care; they would be mentors as well as friends, which I, as an international student, really appreciate.

My consideration for choosing UChicago includes not only the quality of my four undergraduate years but also my postgraduate goals. Besides the education from UChicago's top notch faculty and small-sized classes, I will be equipped by the university's educational goal: know how to ask "why" and "how" rather than "what." Furthermore, UChicago encourages students to take various courses; these crossovers among different subjects would help me build the ability to make logical arguments, to communicate effectively, and to make rational decisions.

With all the opportunities UChicago offers its students, I would try as I may to reward the community. Having had such learning and serving experience as the UNC Economic Summer Program, the China-Japan Calligraphy Competition, and Boston Marathon, I feel that I can make a positive impact within the community, and I would like to continue both my academic commitments and extracurricular hobbies in the Gothic campus of UChicago.

"This is the major reason why I am attracted by UChicago. "
You do not really need to include this. The prompt is asking you why you think it is a good match for you, so they will know that this is why you are attracted to it. Also, if you do say that quote above, it would be "this is the major reasono why I am attracted to UChicago."

Also, I think it's unnecessary to cite things you've participated in if they're going to be listed on your application anyways. However, I do applaud you for being specific in why you think UChicago is a perfect fit for you (e.g. the housing system). Perhaps you can be more specific while your discussing academics, however. What specific courses/subject areas are you looking forward to pursuing?

This point is partly correct and partly wrong. You have not written it well. It is going like... I did this and I did that....but it doesn't come in a flow.

Also, most places, you are appreciating UChicago which I don't want to know. I know that already and even better, instead of reading it here and I can read it on the website. But, there is no, you. Your character and everything. Your hopes from UChicago, goals and aspirations which how you should link it to the college answer the question, "Why UC.".

Hope this helps...

that helps a lot!! thank you guys so much for pointing out a direction

YPan,

I'm also an international student applying to UChicago,so I was very interested to read through your essay.

At times you sound like the school's brochure writer e.g.

While the house system serves as a coherent "home base" that helps students to extend their social life, the advisory system serves as a comprehensive consultant. Advisors who follow the students for four years are providing not only academic enlightenments but also parental care; they would be mentors as well as friends, which I, as an international student, would enjoy.

Avoid doing all this.They already know this info,after all they wrote it!so don't repeat it here.

"I would try as I may "-this phrase makes your writing appear indifferent.Try another phrase.

"in the Gothic campus of UChicago."- This is not neccesary.