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"To Know" / Common Application / Transfer / Personal Essay


formenthos 3 / 20 2  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
I am writing an essay for the common app transfer application.

Personal Essay, 250-500 words, reason for transferring colleges (in general) and objectives you hope to achieve.

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To Know

So far I have worked in two media involved jobs, and in a handful of freelance projects. Interviewers always want to see examples of my prior work. They want to evaluate the quality of my skills and the breadth of my imagination. I am proud of the work I have done thus far.

I made the choice to jump into my first media job because I feel I am a very hands-on learner. I felt I could grow from the skill-honing stresses of a TV station and a commercial production environment. I wanted to work with a team of creative and inspiring individuals, and I wanted to contribute ideas to the team. I wanted to venture away from my community college and into some job scenarios because I wanted to explore where my training at that point could take me. I feel I have now reached an impasse.

Though I feel I have the drive and resourcefulness to find solutions, I feel there are things that can not be efficiently explored alone. College is a place to take in the knowledge and theories of experienced instructors. College is a place to experiment and try ideas with peers. College is a place where boundaries almost seem non-existent, where people can explore their abilities to the fullest extent.

If I were to distill all the reasons, I think it would be encompassing to say that I want to return to college to explore and foster my ambitions. Working for a public broadcasting station and a private media department have been eye-opening experiences. I now know that I love the visual arts. I now know that if I want to have a successful career, I need to take my skills to a new level. I now know that I have explored the limit of my abilities right now, and I am ready to absorb all that I can. I now know that I am ready to return to college.
aGale37 1 / 1 1  
Mar 13, 2013   #2
formenthos
It looks good grammatically, there's a wide variety of sentence structure, and it reads smoothly. I think you're good to go.

The one thing I'd change is the "If I were to distill all the reasons," though I don't have much of a suggestion as what you could do. I would probably remove it altogether if you're saying that the latter part of the sentence is the reason. It just sounds a bit generic, im my opinion, but go with your personal preference.
OP formenthos 3 / 20 2  
Mar 13, 2013   #3
I feel rough about that ending too. Thanks for the input. I'll see if I can rework that and keep the idea. I feel a little silly abotu the repetivness I picked up in the last two paragraphs, but thank you so much for the vote of confidence! I appreciate it so much!
cpdphilippe 4 / 7 2  
Mar 14, 2013   #4
Hey I thought your essay was good but the conclusion was a little choppy and difficult so I worked it a little bit and maybe you can find some use of it:

When I look at why I have decided to return to school if reflects my want to foster my ambitions. Working for a public broadcasting station and a private media department have been eye-opening experiences. Those experiences have allowed me to realize my passion for visual arts, and my want to take my skill to the next level. Being able to take my skill to the next level requires a college education because I've reached the pinnacle of my abilities currently.

Enjoy best of luck!


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