please help me with my grammar again. i know i still lack conclusion.. please
"I can never know everything, but with what I know, I can accomplish anything," Petricic said when she has succeeded in reaching her goals from the article Knowledge is Power. She strived hard so she could get the education that she wanted. If a person really wants something, he or she would do everything just to reach his or her dreams. Just like Petricic, despite that she heard all theses horrible stories about the college in her hometown, she came up with a plan of going to America to get better education. Petricic said, "College was supposed to build my confidence in the process of attaining knowledge." Personally, I would do the same thing, I would not allow anyone to tell me what I can or can't do and will not stop until I reached my goals.
However, there were people behind every success who also contributed a lot in one's knowledge. Petricic was lucky to have a very supportive mother. She has all these dreams that wouldn't be possible if her mother was not there to guide and help her to pursue her dreams. Not only her mother or other family members, but also even the strangers that she has encountered during the trials in her life brought her some knowledge that she could use. Petricic said, "The more I heard the whispers, the more convinced I became that I must not attend college in my homeland." It signified that she used all the negative forces around her as her strength to pursue more in getting what she wants. I have been through different situations in life that molded the knowledge that I have right now. Different people have also come in and out of my life. Some did not last very long and some still remain a part of my life. I value each of them whether they do me good or have just brought harm to me. A lot of people have been a part of my experiences that have helped me craft the knowledge that I have. My family, teachers, peers and even my enemies were the people who contributed to attain the knowledge that I now have.
Through my hard work, my family has been my inspiration for since the day that I was born they were the first ones who taught me about life in general. My family opened my eyes into the real world. They made me aware of my surroundings and brought me up with good values and manners. My parents have initially taught me about the traditional Filipino customs. They showed me how to respect my elder brothers by calling them "kuya" which means respect to older brother or "ate" to older sister. Another one is by using the words "po/opo" as a sign of respect to elderly like parents, aunts and uncles or grandparents. Also they trained me to recognize an elder's presence by taking the elder's hand, bring it to forehead and release it. Moreover from teaching me good values and manners, my mother taught me the basic education before starting school. She taught me how to sing ABC and count one to ten. I also remember my brother who instructed me how to play the chess game that I still love playing up until now. My other brothers have also tutored me with my school and showed me how to do some house chores. I remember when they taught me how to read the clock and how to cook rice or wash the dishes. Right now, they still continue to teach me, but in a deeper way. I always ask for their opinion every time I have to make an important decision. Not only because they know best, but also because I want their support. "I wanted my mother's support. Everything else would work out somehow," Petricic once mentioned when she first thought of studying in America. It demonstrates that she gets her strength from the people around her who supports her. Recently I had to make a decision about what should I major in college and they have been supportive of it as long as I finished school. My father also have exhibit how to think practically. He was the one who taught me about saving. He told me that I should learn to prioritize and only buy the things that I need first.
Some of my teachers may have been very strict, but I know that they all want us to succeed. Teachers are what most of the students consider as their second parents because they spend more time in school than they do at home. As what Petricic said, "Teachers were supposed to encourage me with their wisdom and compassion," my teachers have been my inspiration and would not learn from school if it were not for my hardworking teachers. My Math teacher, one of my favorite teachers, has been very supportive not just to me, but to all her students. She always check on us by asking how we were doing with all the other classes. If we were having problems with other subjects, she always has some advices to give to her students to uplift their feelings. Also, I recall Professor Roda, my History teacher, who is well known for being a terror teacher in my College. He was very organized in every way and wanted his students to follow his every instruction. He would yell if his students were not able to follow his instructions. He would tell us how easy to read his instructions, and that all left to do is to follow it. He basically disciplines us that I like about his teaching.
Besides from my family and teachers, who I encountered most of my time, the people who I just passed by my journey, also made an impact to my learning about life. My friends and even strangers have taught me in many different ways. I have many friends but trust only few of them. They are the ones who also give me advices based on their experiences. I rely on it sometimes because we have a lot of things in common. Gladys, my best friend, just graduated a bachelor's degree in nursing which is the same major I am going to take. I have asked her so many times for help academically, and she helped me without hesitations. Also, in Petricic's Article when she said, "The travel agent found a cheap student rate. Despite strict regulations, she was willing to sell me a one way ticket." It showed that even strangers could care. The travel agent demonstrated a trait of being cooperative that is a good example. I don't have enemies, but we could never avoid if some people have insecurities and don't like seeing others succeed before them. I would just ignore them and does not let anyone affect me negatively. Instead, I used them as my inspiration to pursue more and show them what I can do.
Good evening :)
I have provided some general comments in regards to mechanics in this piece.
First, when using titles of books and articles, make sure you are properly formatting them; check with your required citation style to see how they should be formatted, because they require different formats.
Make sure you start a new paragraph each time you switch discussion topics. For instance, "I have been through different situations in life that molded the knowledge that I have right now" should be the beginning of a new paragraph.
Make sure you don't use run-on sentences. For instance, "As what Petricic said, "Teachers were supposed to encourage me with their wisdom and compassion," my teachers have been my inspiration and would not learn from school if it were not for my hardworking teachers" should be broken up into smaller sentences.
Make sure you are capitalizing proper nouns and the first words of sentences only. For instance, "Math" shouldn't be capitalized.
Avoid using contractions in formal academic writing; "don't" should be "do not."
I also suggest running the piece through a spell-checking program such as Word or the Mozilla web browser, just in case, before submission.
As the assignment was not included in your posting, I am not sure whether or not this piece is a good response to the prompt. I hope this helps.
Regards,
Gloria
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