the max is 500 words and so far I have 495, but I need help revising the essay.
I would be more than happy to help a fellow writer, let's help each other out people! :)
French novelist Anatole France wrote: An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. What don't you know?
I'm sure that if she were she given the chance, my mother would be able to provide you with a much longer list of what I do not know; in fact most of my time is spent by asking and learning from her. I do know that from this point on, my life will become indefinitely more challenging. Life never gives you the challenges that you expect. Instead it gives you the ones that end up consuming most of your time.
As general as the question may appear and of the many different ways it can be answered, I am drawn to my most recent experience. I don't know what it is like to lose a parent. To have my life change so drastically in such a short amount of time that you barely have time to catch your breath. The week of Christmas, my family laid to rest a very dear and loving uncle. A man of not only great integrity and love but of such strong conviction in his faith that while his family will dearly miss him, they cannot help but feel happy and at peace knowing he is sitting next his Lord, a place he has always dreamt of being.
While my uncle's passing is indeed a great loss, he leaves behind such a strong legacy in his three beautiful daughters, Jennifer, Suzanne and Celeste, who have all shown such grace and humility, as they sat down in front of their fathers casket as strong, enduring women supporting their mother in her time of great sorrow and need. Yet, what is most astounding is that while they are all deeply saddened and will miss him tremendously they do not cry. For they know that my uncle has reached that one place he has been longing for all his years.
This experience was a double edged sword, it made me question whether I would be able to endure such a life altering experience and survive through the pain that will inevitably come. I have always teetered back and forth between what I have been raised to believe in and what I choose to experience. When faced with pain and disappointment, you tend to deeply question what to believe strongly in. Would I have such a strong belief in my faith that through the tears I would be able to smile knowing my parents are at peace? Could I accept heartache so peacefully and not be afraid?
It's such a sad relief knowing I have yet to experience this pain, though it is indeed inevitable. While I do not know what it is like to lose a parent and have my faith tested so at the same time, this experience has changed me profoundly. I will maintain my belief that while life may never give you the challenges you can expect, the power of love and faith can carry you to another place so deep within yourself that you will indeed make it.
very sad im sorry for your loss
just my personal opinion but i think you should delete this
"As general as the question may appear and of the many different ways it can be answered, I am drawn to my most recent experience."
try adding more vivid description words and avoid the more general words
hope this helps :]
please comment on mine as well
Ha ha, you did great. I love the first line. the last line of the first para should also refer to your mother in order to make the paragraph "cohesive" or whatever you want to call it.
Instead, says my mother, it gives you unexpected adversity that ends up consuming most of your time.
