Tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission
Because I don't know what I want to study in the university and I'm having a hard time figuring out what should I major in, learning some general courses during the first two years in the college may be a good choice for me. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about that at Boston University, the College of General Study can offer me the related, interdisciplinary courses, and that's exactly what I need for my college life and nearly impossible at other colleges that I'm applying to. Also, one elective course can be an opportunity for me to explore my specialty major, which can let me have two more efficient years after the study in CGS.
Another thing that BU greatly attracts me is their location - in the middle of the city. A mature transportation system around the University filled me with a feeling of urban life. Since I have lived in Beijing for sixteen years, I'm not used to living in any place that is very far from any major city or town.
You have touched on the specific reason that led you to apply, but I just feel you need to elaborate more on why Boston would be a good fit for you. Just mentioning the fact that its location suits your needs is insufficient.
Have a look at their website and some forums. Find some other aspects eg style of teaching or opportunities for XYZ that would interest you. Even if they don't, find a way of meaningfully incorporating them into your reasons for joining. Right now your knowledge would seem only superficial to an admissions officer. You need to show them you really have done your research.
Of course, dont try to include any information. Make sure you can elaborate on it and that it pertains to you in some way.
Dont use abbreviations, and try using some point other than the mature transportation system to say why you would feel at home in the campus. Again, it just feels like you have picked up a random point and feebly tried to use it as the basis for why Boston would be a good fit.
Also, you cant be filled with a feeling of urban life. you could say the efficient transport and the xyz layout of the campus reminded me of the urban life that I live in china- one that I have become accustomed to.
remember your visit there and add some strong points.
good luck!!!
Zhang, I revised your essay to make it better suited to the prompt. It came out to 222 words. Your choices are, to either use this version of your response that I developed for you, or use it as a template for your own revision. Either way, I will continue to assist you until we get this right :-)
Having spent the first sixteen years of my life in Beijing, and never far from any major city or town, I am looking for a college or university where I can feel like I still have the guidance of my parents and the comforts of home. I feel like I have found that potential place to call home at BU.
Liked I said, I have never been without guidance all my life and even then, I have not been able to settle on a college major yet. That is why I am thankful to have found the College of General Study at your university. With the helpf of the career counselors and my professors, I can take as many general courses over 2 years as I need to and introduce myself to various career paths during the course of my study with hopefully, one elective course helping me to finally discover who I want to be in the future.
Other colleges do not have the patience to guide students who are still trying to find their future. They want students like me to have made a major decision in life by the time I go to college, even though I am barely sure of who I am and want to be at that point. That is what set BU apart for me and that is why I wish to attend your university.
vangiespen, really thaaaank u very much. I will read your comment carefully and try to make it even better.
