The Yale supplement essay prompt says:
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
This is what I did so far. Any suggestion/idea/comment would be greatly appreciated!
If I have to describe myself in simple words, I think the accurate ones would be "knowledge junkie". I feel like a sponge, absorbing knowledge from every possible source. It's like I have this thirst for knowing every single detail behind something that wouldn't be relevant to someone else. As a result of this craving, I tend to enroll on as many activities as my schedule allows, and last year wasn't an exception.
Last year, it was announced that the first National Chemistry Olympiads were going to take place in September, so every student had to take a preliminary classification test in August. I wasn't that much excited with this news since chemistry was never exactly my favorite subject at school, but knowing myself I knew that I wanted the recognition. So everyone took the test and after long hours of study, I was pleased to get the highest score. But when I learned that now I was forced to participate at the Nationals I was terrified, because I didn't believe my knowledge was on the same level as the other competitor's. But I couldn't help but to be thrilled by this new challenge ahead. So I decided to join the Chemistry Club.
Staying hours after school, I had to work with the other members as a team to be able to review every chapter the exam covered. At times I felt overwhelmed, like I lacked enough time to learn everything I had to for this competition. But if I learned something from all the activities I participated on in my life is that emotional equilibrium is necessary in order to success. So together with my new teammates, we worked hard and helped each other so we overcame every difficulty we encountered. When the big day arrived, not only we covered all the chapters but also were able to form a bond that would last forever.
I can say I'm pleased with everything I learned. Along with the satisfactory results of receiving a honorable position at the competition, we had a nice time and I was rewarded with more knowledge, something I can never get enough. With the teamwork ability and consciousness I gained from this experience, I believe my contribution to this prestigious community would be crucial to its sustainability. I expect to give back all that I get, as a sponge would when applied the correct pressure.
If I had to describe myself in simple words, I think the accurate ones would be "knowledge junkie". I am like a sponge, absorbing knowledge from every possible source. I have a thirst for knowing every single detail behind something that wouldn't be relevant to someone else. As a result of this craving, I tend to enroll on as many activities as my schedule allows, and my junior year was no exception.
Late last summer , my school announced that the first National Chemistry Olympiads would take place in September, so every student had to take a preliminary classification test in August. I wasn't particularly excited with this news, since chemistry was not exactly my favorite subject at school, but I couldn't resist a good challenge . So everyone took the test and after long hours of studying , I was pleasantly surprised to get the highest score. But when I came to the realization that my success subsequently meant my participation at the national level I was terrified. I didn't believe my knowledge was on the same level as the other competitor's. Even so I couldn't help but to be thrilled by this new challenge ahead. So I decided to join the Chemistry Club.
Staying hours after school, I had to work with the other members as a team to be able to review every chapter the exam covered. At times I felt overwhelmed, like I lacked enough time to learn everything I had to for this competition. But if I learned something from all the activities I participated on in my life is that emotional equilibrium is necessary in order to success. So together with my new teammates, we worked hard and helped each other to overcome every difficulty we encountered. By the time the big day arrived, we had not only covered all the chapters but more importantly formed a bond that would last forever .
I can say I'm pleased with everything I learned. Along with the satisfactory results of receiving a honorable position at the competition, we had a nice time and I was rewarded with more knowledge, something I can never get enough. With the teamwork ability and consciousness I gained from this experience, I believe my contribution to this prestigious community would be crucial to its sustainability. I expect to give back all that I get, as a sponge would when applied the correct pressure.
-
The ending is cute, and I like the several chemistry analogies you throw in. I would tweak the beginning a bit so it doesn't come off so much as "I did this to get an award" but rather, "I did this for the challenge and my love of learning."
thanks a lot for your advice! I sure don't want it to sound as I did it only to get an award!
