She knows what it feels like to be strong in STEM as a female. Barnard

Hello I would really appreciate feedback on these supplements. Thank you!

Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about? (250 words)

the girl who loved to count

She knows what it feels like to be strong in STEM as a female. She is Katherine Johnson--the girl who loved to count; the American mathematician who calculated the trajectory of NASA's first trip.

She sips her tea and smiles when I tell her I am one of the few girls in my class to take Calculus and Physics. I tell her I want to major in Mathematics, a male-dominated major, and she smiles even wider and starts telling me about her spot in an all-male meeting. Excitement and inspiration shivers up and down my spine. I see myself mirrored in her eyes as she talks. I want to be able to make an impact on people as she has. The way she left NASA, proving to the world that women are capable of solving problems and doing math.

I would converse for an hour with Katherine, the woman who inspires me to be who I aspire to be. To even have a few minutes with her, I know that she would guide me into becoming a confident woman. We would talk like two old friends, discussing the importance of encouraging woman to go into STEM fields. She would tell me about how I should use math to write computer programs and use it as a language to express my thoughts and opinions.

She leaves me in awe and motivation. Now I am ready. Ready to show the world what woman can do.
For the ending I have to use one of these sentences. Which is better the one in red or the one in blue?
Our conversation ends and I am ready to leave. Ready to make the next big impact on the world, just like Katherine Johnson.
Or perhaps maybe you guys can suggest something even better?

Plural form might be better, "...discussing the importance of encouraging womanwomen to go into STEM fields."
What do you think?

For the ending of the sentence maybe you can combine both of the sentence:
... leaves me in awe and inspired . Now I am ready. Ready to make ...

Then, you gotta have a more serious topic to discuss about, not just about the importance of encouraging woman to go into STEM fields, but something like The Impact of Calculus in Modern Astrophysics, The Rocket Science women figure..or something more interesting. Furthermore, I would recommend you to talk more about the specific topic you'll discuss with her than using unnecessary aesthetic statements. When it comes to your ending statement, I prefer the Red one to the Blue one, since it displays a little bit of aggressiveness within you.

@Holt

Hi Holt,

Could you please briefly give me a couple of suggestions about this supplement?

Mualla, at this point, you should make reference to how Katherine Johnson broke the glass ceiling by outperforming men in a field of science that was normally limited to only scientific and math achieving men. That is, the sole purpose of your conversation with her. To find out how she managed to create such an impact in that world so that you can inspire the other women in your country to reach far beyond that world that seems male dominated at this time.

Late on in the essay, imagine what kind of inspiration you might be getting from her words. I am sure you are familiar with the background of this woman so I would like you to insert something inspirational that you know she has said. That you feel all women need to know about and realize the meaning of, in the same way that you did, upon hearing her say it during the talk you had with her. Remember, you heard her say it, you did not read it or get it from any other source. That is what will make this talk all too meaningful and important to you.

I vote for the closing sentence in blue because it brings the discussion around to you. That is always how all your essays have to end, even if it asks you to focus on a different person for majority of the written discussion. You are never going to be the second stringer in these essays. You will always be the prime person involved.