Prompt: Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas
The closest comparison I can draw to the K-Plan is of my second semester freshmen year. My freshmen year we had a project called KOD: Knowledge on Display.
We were tasked with choosing a single topic from our Ancient History class that our professor would cover during the year and presenting it in front of the class. But it wasn't like a normal exposition essay and presentation, we were given four months to complete a single assignment that would count as 50% of our term grade, and 50% of our exam grade.
What happened next was a flurry of activity that consisted of eighty fourteen year olds panicking, 90 pages of research notes, 30 petri dishes, 2 reports, 1 voice over video, and and an A+ on the exam and on the term. Our teacher gave us a sink or swim situation, but didn't leave us treading water, we got hands on experience in researching, primary sources, and language. My topic: The Black Plague (c. 1300's) forced me to expand beyond Latin class and to delve into the naming of bacterium's like yersinia pestis.
tasked with better to say "given the task to"
class "course" maybe better?
presentation, we "presentation. We were" - make 2 sentences
and and delete 1 "and"
we got hands on "had"
My topic: The Black Plague Delete ":" and put " "
(c. 1300's) - what is it?
opportunity I've "Opportunity. I have"
Besides you are breaking the rule number 1 of business letters - no short forms.
I general I like your essay. It is interesting to read especially about your research project
The K-Plan at Kalamazoo is a wonderful example
[...]
- Kaitlyn, you should use this paragraph as your introductory statement because it immediately presents the answer to the prompt which is " how Kalamazoo's College approach to education will help you explore your ideas."The closest comparison I can draw ...
- Find a way to take the most important points of this particular educational system and relate it to the Kalamazoo method of teaching. By doing so, you will show a familiarity with the their educational system and how it can help you develop further as a person. Let me know if you need help with this part and I will show yo ua sample of how that can be done for you to use as a template.The concluding statement is alright at this point. Once the essay has been revised, we will be able to better develop the essay and polish it in terms of content :-) Don't worry about the word count if there is one. We can deal with that later.
Nastasi Thank you! c. means circa- which is like "around this time" I'm not sure what you mean by "breaking short forms," could you explain please?
vangiespen Thank you! I changed it to:
The K-Plan at Kalamazoo is a wonderful example of how to continue expanding on my education and compelling it's students to delve into hands on experiences to research topics we've never considered before. It's a brilliant opportunity to put theoretical knowledge into action with our peers and gain information from our professors we wouldn't have encountered otherwise. I particularly enjoy it's focus on languages, and its goal to have students be proficient in a second language.
The closest comparison I can draw to the K-Plan is of my second semester freshmen year. My freshmen year we had a project called KOD: Knowledge on Display.
We were given the task to choose a single topic from our Ancient History class that our professor would cover during the year and presenting it in front of the class. We were given four months to complete a single assignment that would count as 50% of our term grade, and 50% of our exam grade. I thoroughly enjoyed this part of freshmen year, and it would be fascinating to continue my studies at Kalamazoo in the same way. The similarities between the K-Plan and KOD drew my attention to Kalamazoo because of the hands on research and close student professor relationship associated with the K-Plan and also with a small liberal arts college.
Our teacher gave us a sink or swim situation, but didn't leave us treading water, we got hands on experience in researching, primary sources, and languages. My topic "The Black Plague (c. 1300's)" forced me to expand beyond Latin class and to delve into the naming of bacterium's like yersinia pestis. We were exposed to changing cultures during a tumultuous time, and their effects on interactions between European countries.
This relates closely with it's goals of international experience- pushing students to communicate efficiently with others from around the world enforces cultural understanding between countries, and would enable us to learn from each other and empathize more clearly with other nations. In my view the K-Plan is a fantastic opportunity. I have not seen at any other college, and would pose an exceptional experience in our education.
Better? And I'm not worried about the word count yet it's a max of 500 words :)
Kaitlyn, I've got a few suggestions for changes to the content. I hope you will consider using them :-)
... how to continue expanding on my education and compelling it's students to delve into hands on experiences to research topics we've never considered before.
- ...
to continue expanding my education by compelling me and my fellow students to delve into hands on ... experiences
on research topics...
... that our professor would cover during the yearand presentingit in front of the class
- ... the year
to present in front...
Do my suggestions work for you? We can further tweak the essay. We have plenty of room to move around in :-)
Definitely :D
The K-Plan at Kalamazoo is a wonderful example of how to continue expanding my education and compelling it's students to delve into hands on experiences on research topics we've never considered before. It's a brilliant opportunity to put theoretical knowledge into action with our peers and gain information from our professors we wouldn't have encountered otherwise. I particularly enjoy it's focus on languages, and its goal to have students be proficient in a second language.
...
We were given the task to choose a single topic from our Ancient History class that our professor would cover during the year to it in front of the class
...
Yes, they're wonderful!
