"You think you're smart enough?" "That's too difficult for you." "No, you should face the reality!" When I told others that I want to study Computer Sciences and Physics in university, most told me things like these. They told me that those majors are too difficult for me, I wouldn't be able to manage, and I should look rationally at what I am really capable of. But, what if I AM 'smart' enough?
I'm from a very traditional Korean family. I lived in Korea my whole life, and I had never travelled out of Korea. I wasn't one of those genius Korean students who excel in mathematics or science, but a typical Korean student who lived lukewarm life, with no abysmal tragedies or excellent achievements. Then, in 2007, my family moved to Cambodia when I was 11 for my father's business plans. I hated it. I couldn't believe that I was moving to Cambodia, a country that I thought was in Africa, and had to learn to speak a different language.
No one had expected anything great from me. However, as I started a new life in Cambodia, innumerable changes came my way. I was called a math genius. Due to a highly motivating environment and a whole new curriculum, the guy who had been a typical student in school just 6 months ago suddenly turned into a math 'genius'. That was when I first thought that I could actually do something. Like many other Asian parents, my parents began expecting more and more. I was expected to receive high grades, especially in math and science. Although I had decent scores in school, I was never enough to satisfy the expectations of the people around me, including my parents. They still doubted me. People told me to look for majors that are easy to study and universities that are easy to get into. However, my experience in Cambodia had reformed my attitude. Growing up in a developing country and watching the country develop with the people achieving great feats, I was able to see that I have much privileged compared to deprived people around the world, and that if they can achieve so much, I can do more, if not the as much. What others tell me doesn't matter. It is my passion that I must follow.
My parents still want me to be an ordinary dentist. Others still tell me that I'm not good enough. But Lao Zi (Lao Tse) said, "One who is content to satisfy his needs finds that contentment endures". I'm going to pursue what my passion and mature, pondered decisions tell me to. My decision is final. I am open to adjustments in the future; but at this stage I am confident the path I chose is the path will pave for myself. I will prove myself capable and competent. I didn't believe the saying "nothing is impossible", but now, I believe nothing is impossible until you try it.
I'm applying to Cornell ED, but i don't know if the essay is good enough... help me!
Hi!
Your essay is well written, and I don't think I found typos or anything of the sort.
However, your third paragraph (No one...) has a lot of telling and this makes is a little choppy and dull at times. Try combining a few sentences.
Take out "ordinary" in "ordinary dentist" because that sounds unnecessarily judgemental.
In the beginning, change "things like these" to "comments like these" or anything more specific than "things."
I like the idea of you going against what people tell you to pursue your own dreams, but focus more on your ambition, and maybe even talk about future plans? Right now your essay seems a tad underdeveloped.
Overall, good job, and good luck!
