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Being a Korean immigrant - ApplyTexas Essay Topic A


Killeener 3 / 5 1  
Jul 25, 2015   #1
hi I just finished my applytexas topic A essay and want to hear some feedbacks.
I know there will be many grammar or spelling errors, so I just want to appologize first before you guys read.
Thank you for spending your precious time to read my essay!

Topic A: Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings, and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.

"I'll never get able to fit into the American culture". This thought dominated my mind when I was in middle school. Being a Korean immigrant, who moved to America at the age of 14, was something that I feared most of my time. Getting away from my cultures, friends, and families were heart-breaking, but another problem that I faced was to fit into a new culture that I never experienced before. American culture wasn't familiar with me, especially in language, communication, and lifestyle. When I lived in Korea, I was mainly surrounded by other Koreans who shared many similarities with me. Foreigner was something exotic and fairly new, so whenever I met people who came from different countries, I was afraid to talk and face them, like Xenophobia. After I moved to America, everyone was a foreigner, but the truth was, I was the actual foreigner to them. I was discouraged.

I had absolutely no idea what was going on during my first day of American middle school. Why do I have to do the Pledge of Allegiance every morning while I had to do only once a week in Korea? Why do I have to go to another classroom while I just had to stay on my own classroom and wait for the teacher to come? Everything surrounding me was completely different than what I experienced before. Thankfully, I met a Korean American who was very generous to teach me about American culture, like the way people talk and express their emotions. I gradually met other friends to talk with, and I felt like I was slowly assimilating the culture. One day, when I was walking down the hallway to go to my science class, I accidently hit someone's shoulder. I remember that the guy looked down on me with disgust and said "chink." Stupidly, I didn't know what "chink" met at the first time, so my immediate reply was "sorry" and rushed to my classroom. When I found out what that word meant from my friend, which was a word intended to discriminate Asian people with their slanted eyes, I was infuriated. I got furious about how he called me, but the immense embarrassment I received from not defending myself in that situation was the worst part. It almost became a trauma. Since then, I started worrying about how people watch me due to my ethnicity or race and became very sensitive when people talk about me. The mental barrier between me and other people gradually rose, making me fear even more to have conversations and accept American culture. When I heard my brother finished his military service and my grandmother's health condition became fatal in Korea, I wanted to go back desperately. Even though it was out of my circle of influence, I felt a deep hatred of myself because I couldn't physically stay with someone I love but spending my time worrying about the school and the culture.

Few months later, I met a friend named Daniel who came from Mexico. His nature was jolly, amicable, and outgoing, so I was able to approach him easily. We had a lot of similarities, such as different cultural backgrounds, love of soccer, and not fluent in speaking English. We became very close to each other quickly and shared many experiences we had before. He was probably the only one that I can talk everything I concern, unlike other people. One day, while we were playing soccer at an empty field, I asked him why he was always in a happy mood even when people judge him based on stereotypes and make a joke about him. Indeed, he was a happy guy who loved to have a conversation with different people. His response was so simple that I didn't understand when I first heard it - "I don't care what other people think and say about me, I just love to talk." For few days, I wondered continuously because his remark repeatedly appeared in my mind, so I began recalling his actions and behaviors. As I continue to recall, I found something that I missed him every time. Most of the time Daniel loved to talk with a generous manner to different people even if they don't fully understand what he was saying. I thought this was worthless because my experience of being discriminated occupied my heart, or I was simply afraid of being stereotyped and discriminated, making me talk lesser and lesser with people. Due to these negative perspectives, I was blinded of his action that actually makes a change. Somehow, when I finally saw it in a different perspective, like how people react to him, I was shocked. He was actually making more friends, people started to follow him, he blended into American culture quickly, and ultimately, he was making his own culture that people love.

I realized that being Korean or Mexican doesn't matter; embracing who I am and becoming a positive minded will let me make my own culture which gives me the insight to understand others, allowing me to join the American culture and also letting people join my own culture too. Yes, I was the one who didn't try to change myself because of the shackle in my mind called trauma. Thanks to Daniel, I was able to shed my old trauma, turning myself into an open-minded person with positivity. Now I am making more friends and learning American culture faster than ever. The best part is, I love myself having my own unique culture, and I am more than welcome to let people know mine.
masaji - / 3  
Jul 26, 2015   #2
Hi,I am just trying to give some corrections. I hope i could help

American who was very generous to teach me about American culture, like the way people talk and express their emotions. I gradually met other friends to talk with, and I felt likeI was slow in assimilating the culture

But over all, i love your experience, it was also happened to me
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jul 26, 2015   #3
1st paragraph;
- "I'll never get be able to fit into the American culture".
-.. I feared most of mythe time.
- GettingMoving away from my cultures,
- American culture wasn't familiar withto me, especially inthe language,

Last paragraph;
- I am and becoming a positive minded person will let me make..
-..I was able to shed my old trauma,

Killeener, honestly, your essay is good. For somebody who says he/she is not good in writing, your essay is worth reading.
As entertaining as it is, however, I don't find your essay to leave a mark to it's readers due to the following reason;

- you spoke too much about yourself,your culture and just about you
- add some insights about your country, Korea, it's traditions, culture and beliefs
- compare this to American and how will this make you an asset to the institution
Write a couple more sentences and you should be good to go.


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