Does this seen to be an essay on the effects that music can have or a struggle with culture? And is this topic even appropriate to send to a college? Thank you~
Of all the things that could bring a child and her parents together, Kpop (Korean pop music) is the last thing on anyone's mind. I admit, this may seem like a shallow genre of music grounded in popular culture, but Kpop has opened my eyes to a world I'd thought I'd never understand.
Having been born and raised in America, there have always been strong differences in the way that I think and the way my Korean-born parents think. The cultural differences always confused and irked me. I longed, however, to be able to relate to my parents and enjoy something with my whole family. Kpop, then, became my link to the Korean world and thus the key to my parents' hearts.
My perspective of Kpop changed in my sophomore year when one day I was singing one of my favorite singers' new releases. This singer, BoA, had remade a renowned Korean oldie- and it apparently used to be my mom's favorite song. Imagine the surprise on my face when I heard my mom humming along. Delighted at this rare harmony with my mother, I avidly searched for other famous songs from the 70's and 80's to find that, hey, they weren't so bad. My mother and I then proceeded to listen to these tracks; while she reminisced, I listened and marveled at the bonds that music can form so instantly. I had been so frustrated with the cultural barriers that had been so difficult to overcome between me and my parents, and yet just one song had battered them down.
After that instant, the connections that Kpop helped make between me and my parents became more and more numerous. My Korean improved so dramatically that my parents began to worry that I'd forget how to speak English; still, I could now converse freely with them. While discussing Psy's "Oppa Gangam Style," I learned that Gangnam is a rich, Beverly Hills-like neighborhood in Korea that Psy satirizes in his song. Such insights into Korean culture that Kpop has brought me have made me grateful to Kpop for opening the gates to my parents' and my heritage.
I feel like the essay is iffy to use for a prompt on the impact of culture but also not quite right for a prompt on when my perspective changed. Maybe it's just because I'm trying to fit an essay to multiple prompts instead of writing new ones haha.
I think the essay fits in to the prompt. I really did like it and how you put it together.
This is a unique topic idea, but I think you need to go more in depth about how you are now more indulged in the Korean culture.
I would also suggest not saying "the key to my parents' hearts" as it sounds like your essay is about winning the love of your parents.
Also, Gangnam style is a good use of example, but ending the essay so abruptly after is a bit off-putting and left me thinking about that song rather than your essay. Add a couple more sentences about how your life is different know.
Overall, though, this is very unique. :)
Good luck!
thank you, i think i will take your advice and add a few sentences after the psy part.
also i'll change that weird phrase :)
I admit, this may seem like a shallow genre of music grounded in popular culture, but Kpop has opened my eyes to a world I'd thought I'd never understand.
Shouldn't it be "I thought I'd never understand." because if you are translating what you said before it is "I would thought I would never understand." Do you get my point?
I guess all you have to really worry about is a little bit of grammar other than that your essay was very interesting and unique. I like it.
Having been Being born and raised in America, there have always been strong differences in the way that I think and the way my Korean-born parents think do.
After that instant, the connections that Kpop helped make between me and my parents became more and more numerous.
My Korean improved so dramatically that my parents began to worry that I'd forget how to speak English; still, I could can now converse freely with them.
Your essay presents yourself as a person that seeks to blend into people around him. All in all, a very good attempt. Good luck =)
It has a really strong and abrupt turning point for your views which I think is what you were aiming for.
I think that for barriers this is the correct way you should use the metaphors.
I had been so frustrated with the cultural barriers that had been so difficult to overcome between me and my parents, and yet just one song had battered them down flattened them.
Some syntax corrections and ideas:
Delighted at this unexpected and abrupt occurrence where where my music taste mother's converged this rare harmony with my mother , I avidly searched for other famous songs from the 70's and 80's to find that, hey, they weren't so bad were quite good.
Good Luck. :p
