Thursday is a tiring day, a tall brick wall I have to scale every week to reach Freedom Friday, as I like to think of it . But there is one thing about Thursday that I enjoy very much. Let me run you through it.
Seem too long-winded. You'd want to succinctly state this to focus the reader on Thursday, instead of Friday.
I feel that you use 'get' or 'got' too much. Maybe you'd want to vary your vocab. a bit. It could be just me though :P.
Now, our team had fairly competent athletes with good ball skills and all, but what we witnessed on the pitch put us to shame.
Like a well-oiled machine, they made quick work of our defense and picked apart our offensive plays with great ease. Their unspoken communication and awareness of their surroundings were particularly impressive, exemplified by frequent back-heel passes and no-look passes.
I love this part, it really paints the picture. I also believe that these two are the best sentences you've written in this essay because they have such smooth flow to them. Great job!!
Despite their joyful exterior, I was informed that these children often run away and getdepressed.
Content wise, I think you
kinda express the prompt. Reading this essay, I'd have thought you were trying to answer this: "Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below" instead of the "issues of importance." Since this prompt wants to know what you feel strongly, maybe try to elaborate more on the topic (which is boys with troubled background) for about half of the essay and use the other half to describe your work at Boys' Town.
Good luck :). If you have some free time, take a look at mine. Thanks