I agree. I like the way you can incorporate the rather daunting 'SAT' vocabularies like they belong there, and without weighing down your short essay. :)
My suggestion is to leave out this sentence
Music defines me beyond my extracurricular participation in choir, or playing at concerts, or being co-founder of the Music Society and lead singer of the school band.
, or make it shorter, since the admission officer can find it elsewhere, so it leave you some space to expand and improve your last sentence.