Stanford Roommate Essay:
Prompt - Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Dear Roommate,
Before we become too good of friends, I am apologizing in advance for this list of future troubles that I may bring you:
I often agree to do more things that I can handle, so when I am awake at three in the morning finishing my paper, you'll know why. I don't like to call this procrastination, but I do like to call it simply having too much to do. On nights like these, I will try my hardest to not disrupt your sleep with the "late night playlist" on my iPod, but it isn't unusual for me to misplace my headphones.
If it is a Wednesday night at 8:00, don't plan on studying in the quiet, because I can guarantee you that the TV will be on. I am so obsessed with Survivor that my friends threw me a surprise Survivor birthday party last year. Whether you watch the show or not, I will still rant to you about contestants that I don't like, and scream wildly when my favorite person wins a challenge.
I am obsessed with music, and if there is a piano or a flute anywhere in sight, I will most likely be playing it. I have accepted the fact that I am sort of a band geek, and I'm sure you'll get used to it quickly as well.
I will probably fill up half of our room with my millions of clothes, and then never even wear half of them. And yes, our room will probably very often smell like nail polish.
I dislike Chocolate. I know, it's inhuman! However, I love food, so get used to having lots of snacks and leftovers in the fridge. Especially pasta - I'm Italian, and my family basically lives off of pasta.
I never seem to run out of energy. This can be a good thing, or a bad thing, depending on the situation, but I like to think that most of the time, it's a good thing.
Although I did spend all of this time listing off small things that might inconvenience you, I can still guarantee you that we will probably have more fun than most pairs of college roommates. I really can't wait to meet you.
Carly Hines
So that's my essay. Help and comments would be appreciated. I tried to make it non-academic and more fun and playful, because all of my other essays are serious. I'm also wondering if it's too long - it fits within the word limit, but most of the others that I've read have seemed to be shorter, so I'm wondering if I should make mine shorter as well. Once again, any help and comments are appreciated! :)
Overall, I think you've written a great essay. I like that you aren't afraid to point out your own faults in an admissions essay, and have the audacity to paint yourself as you really are. The format of the essay seems a little informal, but I would guess that that is somewhat appropriate given the prompt. Your essay certainly seems succinct, so I wouldn't worry over the length.
Other than that, avoid generic phrases and words like "things", "I know", and "it". It may also be beneficial to eliminate a few contractions. Although the essay is informal, it is possible to show your fun and playful side without compromising an academic tone.
Hope this helps. Any constructive criticism you could provide on my essay would be appreciated. Thanks,
Madison
