Statement 2 - How have your life experiences and background shaped you into an individual who will enrich the Florida A&M University College of Law?
My parents have always been a huge influence in my life, although neither of them attended post-secondary school, they are the smartest people I know. My parents held very few traditional jobs and by the time they both reached 38, they were retired and lived in their dream home. They have consistently stressed the value of a good education, and they wanted me to have the opportunities that they did not have. I have always been a great student, but just like my parents, I have always aspired to be a leader and create my own path.
Several of the business ventures that attributed to the success of my family were family businesses. I began working for my father during middle school. By the time I reached college, I had worked as a secretary, administrative assistant, customer service representative, dispatcher, and account manager. I had been employed by my father for 7 consecutive years with my fathers' electrical contracting company, and learned that there is power behind perseverance. I had become a young professional before I ever received a paycheck; it was then that I knew that there were many things that I still had to learn.
One month after graduating from high school, my mother suffered a severe stroke. I had never lived away from my parents and my mother's condition forced me to stay close to home. I therefore applied for and enrolled at the University of South Florida, an hour away from my parents' home. Life as I knew it had changed forever. I had become my fathers' new partner; my mother was no longer able to work and lost a large part of her motor skills. Adjusting to my new atmosphere was very difficult; I had to step up to the plate and run the household.
The real world seemed more challenging than the world I previously knew. Working for my father and later becoming the manager of his business, taught me the importance of being punctual, unbiased and giving. It also forced me to acquire solid communication and interpersonal skills. I feel as though my mother was the first client that I represented. I had to be her voice, figure out what her problems were, and find a way to solve them. I became the go-to person for everyone in my household; there wasn't anything that I couldn't handle.
During my sophomore year in college, I was stricken with debilitating heath issues and an unexpected major surgery; I was forced to take a year off from school. I spent three months in recovery and began working full-time to pay off my medical bills. Before I was able to afford re-enrollment, my mother suffered another severe stroke, I moved to Orlando, Florida to be with my family. I enrolled in a local community college to complete additional coursework while nursing my mother back to health. I was subsequently enrolled in at the University of Central Florida.
During my college career I was faced with a series of unfortunate events, but I preserved just as I was raised to. Attending three different colleges was rough and did not allow me to adjust accordingly; however I managed to graduate. I will enrich Florida A&M University, by approaching my studies with the same relentless nature that has allowed me to continue on in the face of adversity. If I would have taken time off from school to deal with my personal issues, I would have been a better student, but this isn't the end of the road for me. I have the passion to be a lawyer and I am ready to take all the necessary steps to graduate with honors from your school. I possess a combination of interpersonal and analytical skills that I think would be a great asset to your program. Moreover, I would like to contribute to the diverse FAMU atmosphere by offering my impartial and objective views. I am,ready to take on whatever challenges are put before me. It would be a great privilege to be part of the FAMU Law community. I believe that my whole family has been given a second chance, and I vow to take full advantage of this opportunity if I am admitted into your university.
I had been employed by my father for 7 consecutive years with my father' s' electrical contracting company, and learned that there is power behind perseverance.
Life as I knew it had changed forever. I had become my father' s' new partner; my mother was no longer able to work and lost a large part of her motor skills.
Before I was able to afford re-enrollment, my mother suffered another severe stroke, and I have to (sounds better to me)I moved to Orlando, Florida to be with my family.
I am , ready to take on whatever challenges are put before me.
comments: it's a good essay. after reading your essay, i could tell what kind of a person you are as someone who wants to succeed in life.
Fix this run on sentence:
My parents have always been a huge influence in my life. Although neither of them attended post-secondary school, they are the smartest people I know.
My parents held very few traditional jobs, and by the time they both reached age 38 they were retired and living in their dream home. --- I made small adjustments to this sentence.
I think your intro para is missing a sentence. You need a sentence to explain that they were entrepreneurs, if that is what you are saying. Is that what you men about their success without working many traditional jobs?
I had worked as a secretary, administrative assistant, customer service representative, dispatcher, and account manager.----impressive!!
I had been employed by my father for 7 consecutive years with my fathers' at his electrical contracting company, and I learned that there is power behind perseverance.
I think vow is too strong and dramatic.
I have always aspired to be a leader and create my own path. --- this becomes the theme for your essay because of the way you present it. I think you should make a change: Add an intro paragraph before the paragraph hat currently starts the essay, and use it to establish a memorable theme. Then, refer again to that theme in the conclusion.
:-)
