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Lawyer or computer scientist - NYU Supplement for College of the Arts and Sciences!


scatano81 2 / 3  
Dec 31, 2013   #1
Not very sure if this is any good or not. Need help and words of wisdom! Any advice appreciated!!

1. Given your NYU campuses of interest - whether they are your primary and alternate home campuses of interest or where you would like to study away while you are a student - where, exactly, would you like to study at NYU - and why?

2. Whether you are undecided or you have a definitive plan of study in mind, what are your academic interests and how do you plan to explore them at NYU?

Throughout my life, my parents, teachers, and even friends have always told me that I should be a lawyer or study computer science. I love both topics and have a slight understanding of the esoteric language of computers such as the efficiency of representing binary digits in a hexadecimal format when the computer is processing numbers for memory storage such as in megabytes. I've always been told what to do, and while I do love computers, my passion is to study to become a doctor. A friend of my family influenced the interest of medicine into my head when I was younger and as I grew older I discovered the different doctor specializations and realized my love for both neurology and surgery. I would love to study at the New York campus of NYU for possibly a year and hopefully for the remaining years study at the Shanghai campus. My high school is one of the most ethnically diverse schools around, and because of this I have learned to appreciate other cultures as well as learn about them. By attending NYU, I will be given the opportunity to learn about many different cultures as well be immersed in NYC (where the variety in cultures is endless) or possibly study in Shanghai where there is a myriad of cultures and religions that I am not accustomed to.

Studying the human body is a huge interest I have had since I was very young. Everything about it has piqued my interest which has made my love for studying science even greater. With the plethora of opportunities offered by NYU, there is no other place I would prefer to study. There is an interminable amount of opportunities available as well as connections waiting to be made in the proximity of the school. The surfeit of potential locations of study such as museums and libraries as well as possible areas for internships assures me that there is no better school than NYU. The very same applies to NYU Shanghai with Shanghai being the most populated city in the world, the amount of opportunities is virtually endless. I will be able to learn about a completely different culture while enjoying the full benefits of being a NYU student.
cag18 2 / 6 2  
Dec 31, 2013   #2
"A friend of my family influenced the interest of medicine into my head when I was younger and as I grew older I discovered the different doctor specializations and realized my love for both neurology and surgery."

I feel that you should remove: influenced the interest of medicine into my head when I was younger for. Instead you should write : A family friend triggered an interest in me for medicine

when i was a child. " A s I grew older I discovered the different doctor specializations and realized my love for both neurology and surgery" should be another sentence. You can write : As I grew older i became aware of the different medicine specializations and my love for neurology and surgery flourished.

" My high school is one of the most ethnically diverse schools around, and because of this I have learned to appreciate other cultures as well as learn about them."

You can change this sentence by writing: Coming from an ethnically diverse high school, I have learned the importance of appreciating and learning about diverse cultures.

"By attending NYU, I will be given the opportunity to learn about many different cultures as well be immersed in NYC (where the variety in cultures is endless) or possibly study in Shanghai where there is a myriad of cultures and religions that I am not accustomed to."

Write: Attending a unique institution like NYU, I will be offered the opportunity to learn about various cultures as well the opportunity to immerse myself in a city that has a great wealth of cultural variety or to study in Shanghai where there is a myriad of cultures and religions to learn from.

Overall, I like how you state your passions, how they came about, and how you plan to pursue them through NYU.
OP scatano81 2 / 3  
Dec 31, 2013   #3
Thanks so much for the feedback I will definitely make some changes! That makes my essay sound a lot better!


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