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"I want to be a lawyer" - Florida Admission Essay

ZachB22 2 / 2  
Oct 24, 2009   #1
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

The most common question when speaking to new people or a family member is "What are your plans for college?". Until the end of my junior year in high school I really had no idea what to tell them. It was a simple Introduction to Business course which assigned a project that enabled me to discover for myself what would like to do with my life, rather than following a predetermined path set by my parents or siblings.

It was late May and the school year was winding down which meant there were plenty of final projects and exam. My teacher for Introduction to Business took a rather different approach to our final project and told us to create a plan for college and plans for after college. Before then my intentions were to go to college and major in business and then become an accountant or some sort of economist like my two older brothers. The project challenged me to research and determine my own path and set my own goals. It was then that I decided I wanted to go to college and double major in business and law. After, I would like to attend a Law School where I will gain the degree and experience necessary to practice on my own and open a business-law firm.

When I tell people that I want to be a lawyer, they do not seemed surprised, some even say that they always saw me as being a good lawyer; I enjoy debating and I believe I do a good job at supporting my arguments with relevant information. Since I have set high goals for myself, my family and friends are somewhat skeptical of my ability to accomplish them. It is their skepticism, along with my determination that will drive me to succeed in college, and in turn, succeed in life. College and Law School will be a long 7 years but I know that I have the will and determination strong enough to achieve my goals.

Now with my solid answer to the most common question, their response is somewhat belittling, "Are you sure you have the determination to do that?". At first I am not sure what to make of the question but my answer is always the same, "Yes, I know it is what I want to do, and I'm going to do it." (In a respectful tone of course).

Any form of insight/constructive criticism, grammar corrections, and/or spelling corrections are appreciated!

angie127 12 / 49  
Oct 24, 2009   #2
You explained why you want to be a lawyer, but its not clear how you became interested in that career field. What did you find in your research that excited you about the profession? what else influenced you to become a lawyer? This will make your essay stronger rather than just stating you decided to "double major in business and law."

Details about how you don't want to follow in your family members' footsteps make your argument stronger. Be clearer why they are skeptical of your goal to be a lawyer.
OP ZachB22 2 / 2  
Oct 25, 2009   #3
Thanks my brother is going to help me rewrite it

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