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"the un-lawyer from hk" transfer essay

carotene 2 / 6  
Dec 24, 2010   #1
Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

I'm a student from HK who wants to transfer to good schools, pls give me feedback!


As a Hong Konger growing up in an East-meets-West environment, I have always aspired to study abroad during my university years. I have been educated in an English-medium environment all my life, and felt most comfortable communicating and learning in an international environment. However, life threw me a surprise that landed me in an awkward situation.

My main reason for transfer is because I feel strongly that my decision to read Law in *university was made too hastily and was not entirely my decision. I was admitted to the *university under the * scheme". This is a unique scheme in Hong Kong specially designed to attract students who meet the minimum GCSE requirements of 8 A*s and want to start university a year earlier.

I was still a scholarship student that was completing the International Baccalaureate Diploma (IB) at * College when it was time to decide whether or not to go ahead with the * Scheme. My time in *College was the most eye-opening and happiest time of my high school life, as I was thriving and developing as an individual in a place with people of 85 different nationalities, all with very different opinions and perspectives on everything.

Perhaps it was a combination of the pressures of work, parents and worries about the future, but ultimately I made the hasty decision to pull out of *College and delve straight into reading Law at University. When the first day of September rolled by, I was college bound whether I was ready or not. I was no longer returning to high school like the previous three years. I was no longer walking past familiar faces in the hallway. To put it plainly; I was alone in a strange new world, 2 years younger than most undergraduates of the same year.

My experience in *University was eye opening, but in a different way. I read about Law and took modules solely based on legal studies in my first semester. I learned a lot of interesting concepts regarding Law and legal theories, but felt something was missing and I needed to find out what it was.

I embarked on a journey of self-discovery during these few months. I made some interesting discoveries along the way. First, the education system in Hong Kong is similar to the UK's, where it is very subject driven and specific. A US education system seems to be ideal for me as I researched further; to be given a degree of flexibility and choice that I cannot get at my current university is something I desire.

Additionally, I came to understand the importance of large diversity on college community through my time in *College. I thrived in such an environment. *University's lack of diversified students who could discuss and debate about what is happening in their countries influenced me to make a decision of aiming for somewhere such as the US where I can be culturally stimulated by the sheer ethnic diversity in the student population.

I was only young when I made the leap into the unknown without much guidance, and it is now that I realize perhaps Law wasn't the best choice for me. I developed a keen interest in global issues during my time in *College - there was something happening everyday, all over the world that directly affected my fellow classmates. I was always most interested in the environmental problems faced by developing countries.

I found my true passion, and I would not be satisfied with any other major, to be Environmental Studies (ES). A course in environmental protection through mu old school reaffirmed my thoughts that ES was my calling. There was one barrier, though: there is no major for ES at my University. I could not let this stop me from following my dream and my passion.

I hope that by transferring, I will be able to explore my passion in depth among others who share the similar interest. I will have the opportunity to take a variety of classes within my major, while also getting internships and conducting research within the field. Transferring will open me up to a new world; a new place to call home, a new curriculum, and new people to meet.

This time, I have made my decision to attend a new school wholeheartedly and with confidence. I have no doubts that I will thrive at a new college that can accommodate my academic interests. I've grown since the day I decided to jump a little too early; I'm confident, independent, and ready to start a new chapter.
HK92 2 / 6  
Dec 24, 2010   #2
In the 1st para., you repeated "environment" twice.. I feel like it sounds redundant.

In the 2nd para. "My main reson for transfer is because" isn't grammatically correct I believe..It's supposed to be "My main reson for transfer is that..."

In the 4th para. from the end, you said "I was only young," but maybe say "I was only (age at that time) or a child" because.. you know, we are still young I think :)

And your point is that -you chose the wrong college and a wrong major at a young age without much thought, and that you want to transfer because now you know what you really want to do, but your current college doesn't offer that major- right?

If I got it right, I think the important part is the last half...so the first half seems too dragging.. maybe trim it down

These are all I can find!! You are an awesome writer :) I hope you'll transfer!
OP carotene 2 / 6  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
Thank you :) Lots of love and hugs *

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