Omg, I did this is in 20 minutes...Please help in context, grammar, wording. It's really rough. Any suggestions in what more I should write is welcome!
Leadership is a constant theme and emphasis at CMC. In fact, one of the ways we describe CMC students is "Leaders in the Making." Identify and discuss a person, fictional or nonfictional, who has helped shape culture and thought. You may select someone from any field: literature, the arts, science, politics, history, athletics, business, education, etc.
Leadership is a constant theme and emphasis at CMC. In fact, one of the ways we describe CMC students is "Leaders in the Making." Identify and discuss a person, fictional or nonfictional, who has helped shape culture and thought. You may select someone from any field: literature, the arts, science, politics, history, athletics, business, education, etc.
Sex. Though this word is the reason you and I are breathing at this moment, we incessantly try to avoid and ignore its existence as much as possible. For instance, let us say a Victoria's Secret ad unexpectedly appears on the television screen. What do we naturally do? We, as responsible citizens, swiftly reach across the sofa and cover the eyes of our innocent children; so, if sex is a messy topic disallowed in the private confines of one's home, where could we discuss or even mention sex without having our faces torn apart? Not in underground cult meetings, but in high school psychology classes nationwide; all thanks to a little known man named Sigmund Freud.
Freud gave sex the attention it deserved. He dedicated a bulk of his research to sex because it was a field of study left untouched by psychologists and psychiatrists of his time. During his time, sex never surfaced beyond the private lives of husbands and wives. Moreover, sex was not seen as a useful tool that could help capture a better understanding of the human mind. Freud, however, saw otherwise. Beginning with the Oedipus complex, Freud explained that sexual repression was one of the key components to hysteria and other neurotic symptoms. Then, Freud introduced the theory of sexual stages, from the oral to phallic, because he discovered how crucial sexual stages were to the maturation of the human psyche. In all, Freud gave birth to a revolution that not only sparked controversies among traditionalists, but also shined a new light onto the dark and mysterious world of sex.
In everyday life, we see how Freud shaped our culture and thought. He changed the way we see sex. Sex is no longer solely an act of 'gross parts', but an integral piece to the ongoing mysteries of the human mind. Freud's effort to see the concept of sex in a unique and scholarly way is evident today. Whenever I mean to say, "Six," but I accidentally say, "Sex," my friends respond with a loud, "Freudian slip!" They do not grimace or gasp at the word 'sex' because they know sex is much more than what the media portrays it to be. I mean, an old grandpa was not afraid to question and explore the wonders of this natural phenomenon...why should we? So, it is safe to say the word 'sex' has more than one meaning today.
Though sex is still recognized as a vulgar word by many people across the nation, sex is an awe inspiring subject for psychologists and high school students, like me, who wish to pursue a degree in psychology. Thank you, Sigmund Freud for giving us the sexual maturation we so greatly needed!
We, as parents (or brothers in my case), unconsciously reach across the sofa and cover the eyes of our innocent children; so , where could we possibly even mention sex without having our faces torn apart? Ironically, these places are in psychology classes at any high school across the nation, all thanks to a little known man named Sigmund Freud.
Thank you, Sigmund Freud, for giving us the sexual revolution we so greatly needed!
Do you have a word count? At first, I was worried about the topic (thinking that the essay may be related to Playboy or something), but was pleasantly surprised. It is well-written and thought out! A few minor issues, but easily fixable. Good luck!
no word count! does it answer the prompt? Claremont is really big on leadership, obviously, and I don't want it to seem like it was last minute and I want it to show my analyzing skills. AHHH stressed out! thank you though!
Here is updated, please help anyone! lemme know if it is sufficient enough to answer topic and if its interesting or not!!!!
Yes! Your essay does answer the prompt completely. I think that CMC will really like your essay. It is different, but in a good way. Good luck!
thank you so much constance! happy new years!!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last time posting any criticism will be welcome. Does it answer prompt fully? Intriguing? Make sense?? Your thoughts please!!
We, as responsible citizens, swiftly reach across the sofa and cover the eyes of our innocent children; so, if sex is a messy topic disallowed in the private confines of one's home, where could we discuss or even mention sex without having our faces torn apart? Not in underground cult meetings, but in high school psychology classes nationwide; all thanks to a little known man named Sigmund Freud.
You have a clear thesis about the contributions made by Freud. "Little known," does not work, though! :)
thanks kevin! haha well i thought it would add some sarcastic humor but i guess not..but thanks nonetheless! any other suggestions??
if you want sarcasm than you could put inverted commas around a little known
"a little known" man named ...
but still i don't think that humor is good enough to be in your essay. it detracts it a little actually, so best to get rid of it.
I agree. I would stay away from the humor.
mmm that sounds reasonable..yeah, i was afraid of just that. do you guys think the essay seems a bit informal because it is still an analytical essay...thanks for your feedback!!
A minor grammatical point:
"but also shone a new light onto the dark and mysterious world of sex." "Shined" as the the past tense of "shine" is mostly used when the word is being employed to refer to the polishing of an object. So, "he shined his shoes." "Shone" is more usual when using the other meanings of the word.
