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"to learn about what makes us human" - my professional goal and academic interest.


the_astronaut 2 / 4  
Sep 7, 2010   #1
Any constructed criticism is valued.

Thanks!

In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or your professional goals.

Dilapidated surroundings. No running water and air conditioning. Disease and terror a part of everyday life. To most, these words do not conjure an image of an ideal office setting. For me, though, this is the type of environment that I have dreamed of travelling to as a staff member of Doctors without Borders, bringing medical attention to places that are drowning in poverty and war.

Ever since I was old enough to immerse myself in magazines such as Time, National Geographic, and Scientific American, I have let my passions in humanitarianism and science flourish. Initially, and, in a way naturally, I believed I was set on majoring in the scientific area such as biology or biochemistry to attain my goal. At the same time, the idea of giving up my love for social studies was dispiriting until, that is, I found my true calling inside the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign's course catalog: anthropology.

Not only does anthropology incorporate a wide breadth of the human development into its studies, it also combines research and analysis of cultural groups and social interactions. Biological anthropology, in particular, is a perfect fit for a prospective pre-medical student such as myself.

As a person who is interested in interactions beyond the cellular and molecular level and who seeks to learn about what makes us human at a global perspective, I believe that the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign would provide me with an invaluable education and a huge helping hand towards my goal.
Zubaida 18 / 34  
Sep 8, 2010   #2
Disease and terror are a part of everyday life.

I hope this will help.
Good Luck
stranger4ever 8 / 29  
Sep 8, 2010   #3
I think these three sentences are too short and is missing something
Dilapidated surroundings. No running water and air conditioning. Disease and terror a part of everyday life
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 9, 2010   #4
Ever since I was old enough to immerse myself in magazines such as Time, National Geographic, and Scientific American,

This is a good sentence. The whole essay is very good. I like the concept, and I like your way of thinking. You are like others who commit to serving those who are suffering -- Thich Nhat Hanh, Mother Theresa, you are in good company!

So... can you make this longer by talking about areas in which you want to specialize? What will be your specialization, and what specific goals can you discuss? I think you did a great job already, but this seems so short. Is there a word limit, or can you write more?

If you have room to write more, you should add another sentence to the end of the first paragraph so that the thesis will express a theme that covers all subtopics of the essay. If you intend to add more material, add a sentence after this: "...bringing medical attention to places that are drowning in poverty and war. (add a sentence here)

:-)
OP the_astronaut 2 / 4  
Sep 16, 2010   #5
Thank you all for your advice!

And EF_Kevin, there's a 300 word limit and I think mine's bordering about 290ish. I would love to add more but the situation won't allow it, sadly. But thanks for your suggestion!! I really really appreciate it. :)


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