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"I learned to give myself to something" - personal essay- Question 1


reina92 5 / 6  
Nov 28, 2009   #1
Question #1: Evaluate a significant experience and/or achievement you have faced and its impact on you.

A murmur of voices, the noise of machinery, and the robotic whirr of gadgetry was in the air. It was exhilarating. All around, spirits were high and minds were crackling with ideas. Finally the Robotic Technology meet commenced and my two fellow classmates and I waited in anticipation for our objective. We were given bits of wood and plastic, a battery, some wires, a remote controller, and other miscellaneous items and were called to somehow assemble these random parts into a motile, machine-controlled robotic vehicle, all within a timed environment.

I snuck furtive glances at neighboring tables and saw the same apprehensive expressions I felt must be on my own face. I had little idea of the workings of some of the parts, and the thought of making a functional, remote-controlled car with them seemed beyond me.

Eager to meet the challenge presented, however, my team and I put our heads together. I chose to begin with what I learned in school. I knew to connect the wheels to a rotor and then attach the battery as an energy source. As my teammates and I put the pieces together, we began to make connections and formulate designs of the end product. We first tested out the highly critical "mobility factor" of the robotic car. After being successful, we built around the center point, taking care not to let overly weighty add-ons interfere with the car's direction. Several minutes later, my two teammates and I managed to construct an efficient and highly unique car. Although we only placed fifth that day, my team and I were proud of what we had accomplished.

Overall, I thought the experience was enjoyable and wonderfully creative. I never imagined that I could "breathe life" into a random assemblage of parts and put them together to serve a purpose. I learned to be resourceful with what I had to achieve what I wanted done, a valuable lesson I now apply to every area of my life. The challenge has given me the determination to stick to the task at hand, no matter how initially overwhelming the situation may be. I am no longer satisfied with "trying" to do things, because I have no intention of failing; instead, I clearly envision my goals and learn from my journey towards them.

Since then, I have learned to cooperate well with others, listen to their ideas, appreciate their vision, and efficiently incorporate every input into a success shared by all yet also individually rewarding. Most of all, I was influenced to give myself to my endeavors. On the shelf of my school's designated trophy space lies a certain robotic car that is covered with my fingerprints and stamped with my soul. I approach every situation I'm given with a passion, driven not only by progression into my goals but also for the sake of being driven in everything I do.

That day has given me new lessons for all aspects of my life. It has refreshed my mind to think in new ways and has led me to be better as a person.
Jeannie 10 / 214  
Nov 29, 2009   #2
OK, I changed some things around...hope you like it! I get a little flowery with my language, so beware! :) I'll help with the ending in a bit. It seems really long, but I know that is the Task of Editing talking. It is a really good story!

We first tested out the highly critical "mobility factor" of the robotic car. After being successful, we built around the center point, taking care not to let overly weighty add-ons interfere with the car's direction. Several minutes later, my two teammates and I managed to construct an efficient and highly unique car. Although we only placed fifth, my team and I were proud of what we had accomplished.

Overall, I thought the experience was enjoyable and wonderfully creative. I never imagined that I could 'breathe life' into a random assemblage of parts, never mind put them together to serve a purpose. The challenge ??new word...experience has already been used... has given me the determination to stick to the task no matter how initially overwhelming the task may appear. I am no longer satisfied with "trying" to do things, because I have no intention of failing; instead, I clearly envision my goals and embark on a journey of attainment.

Psst< I just checked your word count and it is around 500 (542 counting your questions...). Does it need to be that long? I think I cut a bunch out, so check it again after you incorporate the changes. I would hate to help only to have your essay come up short on the word-count requirements! I would be aghast!<teehee
Jeannie 10 / 214  
Nov 29, 2009   #3
BTW, Reina, I really appreciate your in-text questions. They not only made helping you much easier, they showed your own motivation - and that motivates me!

Blue skies! Jeannie

journey of attainment.

Oh quit gagging, I like it! It's good for you!:D
OP reina92 5 / 6  
Nov 29, 2009   #4
Thank you so much, Jeannie. I really appreciated the time you took for these revisions =]


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