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"I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication" Princeton


jebhogiaye 6 / 14  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

"I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication. Now I really know myself, and I know my voice. It's a voice of pain and victory."- Anthony Hamilton: his life and works and his family by Ruth Clark

Anthony Hamilton's childhood was full of poverty and privation, but he lived an accomplished life. After I became very sick, it was my "patience, perseverance, and dedication" that helped me overcome and better my situation. Like Anthony Hamilton, I triumphed over challenges to a place of success.

One night, about four and a half years ago, I stopped breathing while I was sleeping, and my mom could not wake me up. Due to my unresponsiveness, my mom called an ambulance, and I was rushed to a hospital. The doctors diagnosed me with respiratory arrest, and I was hospitalized for five weeks. I lost the ability to perform basic functions such as speaking and walking as a result of the stroke and had to learn how to speak and walk all over again. I had excellent physical therapists working with me everyday who helped me regain my speech and motion.

I missed almost two months of school because of this episode, and had copious amounts of makeup work to complete. My parents as well as the social worker at the hospital, Ms. Fleenor, were worried that catching up was too daunting a task for me to accomplish. But, with the help of my teachers and my encouraging family, I promptly caught up. My teachers were astonished by the miraculous progress I made in such a short period of time. I had spent countless hours studying and working diligently with my teachers to learn the lessons I missed while in hospital.

I really enjoy playing the clarinet and being a part of the school band program. One of my goals before I fell ill was to be selected to be in the district honor band. My honor band audition was to be held a month after I re-entered school, and I had not played my clarinet since I became ill. It was very difficult to begin playing after not playing for so long, and making the honor band seemed like an impractical task. However, I worked assiduously with my private teacher, Mr. Sid, and made the district honor band. Since then, I have not had any complications associated with the stroke.

My passion for the clarinet and the school band program has not waned. My parents have tried to dissuade me from continuing with the band program because of the demanding schedule and reduced time it allowed me for the rest of my academics, but I was determined to continue and excel as well as in my other academic pursuits.

I auditioned and was chosen to become drum major of the award winning school marching band. This has been an enriching experience for me because I have learned so much about leadership from the audition process. I have been able to influence the rest of the band because of my position and my emphasis on leading by example. Apart from teaching new members how to march, I have also been able to improve my public speaking ability through the experience of giving speeches at the band meetings before Friday night football games.
BigBoob15 4 / 17  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
I like your essay but I think that it should flow to how you really enjoy playing the clarinet. From the way it's written it seems like two seperate thoughts.
awesomemo 2 / 5  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
Wow I am amazed! Your essay is awesome because instead of telling how the quote of patience, perseverance, and dedication is applies to you, you show it through your struggles and things you have to face. You might want to answer the other part of request about "you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world." I mean you answer part of it but not completely.

Good Luck on things and best of luck!


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