Prompt for admission essay to Florida state 2012.
Your essay should be no longer than 500 words.
Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you and why?
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A note to the reviewers...while I am confident in my story telling ability I am concerned that the essay may be more about a situation WHEN I learned something rather than how I view myself as a LEARNER. Please advise from that perspective. I tried to tie it together at the end.
Learning is generally revered as an academic term. And although learning defined through academia is critical to success, a well-learned life lesson
can impact and young life in an equally profound way.
I can still vividly remember resting my forehead on the back of the toilet seat. Small shreds of tobacco sticking between the crevices of
my gums. It wasn't a feeling many were familiar with, let alone a twelve year-old boy. And as humiliating as that night was, I couldn't have imagined a better
punishment that could have such a significant impact on me.
It was a critical time in my young life. I was hanging around with kids who had short, rather than long-term goals. Most disappointing
was my adventurous friend, Joseph. Because he was the only other 12-year old in my neighborhood, we spent a lot of time together including
most Fridays when I would spend the night his house. Our preteen curiosities would get the best of us and Joseph would fill up an empty water
bottle with vodka stolen from his alcoholic mother. We would share it as we rode bikes around the neighborhood at night. We continued to do this for
a few weeks when Joseph upped the ante and swiped a cigarette from his mother's purse. Being close friends for more than three
years, I was inclined to trust his judgment and we began smoking.
Alternating puffs, coughing relentlessly, Joseph and I stumbled down the dark driveway when I heard the distinct voice of my stepfather from
the shadows ahead. Grabbing a fistful of my shirt, he muttered a barely recognizable demand through his noticeably clenched teeth. "Eat it." I could
hardly look into his eyes as he glared into mine. He was serious. Though most would have hesitated, I complied with the demand of intimidating man
before me. I snuffed the cigarette out then quickly shot it into my mouth, slowly grinding the dry tobacco between my molars. My next memory is
being alone in my bathroom, terribly sick, vomiting through the night.
Though not very attractive, this was the point at which my life turned for the better. By personal choice, I consciously decided that I was no
longer going to hang around with Joseph. Joseph recently dropped out of high school before junior year and was arrested for drug possession while I
find myself applying to Florida State University.
Making poor decisions is a part of life. But learning from those mistakes and responding positively to the consequences resulting from those
mistakes is what demonstrates the character of an individual. I feel fortunate I learned from this experience to exit the path of
destruction and make better choices. The experience opened my eyes to the realization that I am a learner, whether it's through school or life
experiences, both good and bad. I do not say this as an applicant to Florida State, but as the twelve year-old boy, who woke up the next morning,
not afraid to learn.
I can still vividly remember resting my forehead on the back of the toilet seat, small shreds of tobacco sticking between the crevices of
my gums.---I made this into one longer sentence so it would flow better.
Because he was the only other 12-year old in my neighborhood, we spent a lot of time together, including
most Fridays when I would spend the night at his house.
Our preteen curiosities would get the best of us at times, and Joseph would fill up an empty water
bottle with vodka stolen from his alcoholic mother.
Though most would have hesitated, I complied with the demand of the intimidating man
before me.
My next memory is of being alone in my bathroom, terribly sick, vomiting through the night.---You're both lucky you didn't end up in the hospital, as it's poison!
I feel fortunate because I learned from this experience to exit the path of
destruction and make better choices.
I think you did a very good job with this, and it does show 'how' you are a learner, it shows that you are open to it. I hope this makes sense!
:)
