'learning music by just observing and listening' - CommonApp Short - Music and Me

Hi guys, could you please read and critique my short answer. Feel free to be (constructively) harsh. Thanks a lot!!

Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.

Apparently learning music by just observing and listening isn't 'normal'. But as a self-taught guitarist, that is how I've gone about learning music for the past 8 years. Fortunately, my inability to read sheet music has never been much of a hindrance. In fact, not religiously abiding by black dots and horizontal lines allows me to be creative and expressive. When my guitar ensemble instructor told me to 'get creative' with the Jazz solo I was to play for our hallmark competition, I was enthralled by the opportunity. Obtaining a Gold award was a gratifying bonus. Furthermore, being part of the symphony of various orchestral sections is an exhilarating experience. Playing alongside Japanese counterparts in a music exchange tour to Japan was a priceless privilege; our seamless musical collaboration truly magical considering our language barrier. Music is special to me as it defines my intangible aspects; my love for creativity and collaboration, and strive for perfection.

Forgot to mention, I'm applying for Early Decision so my dateline's TOMORROW..!!! Thanks in advance for the quick responses!!

This is very good. If you're happy with it, I wouldn't change a thing, honestly. There really is not a lot of space for the short answer bit and I think you did a great job of using what you had to describe something you love in detail as well as bringing out why you're good at it and some unique experiences. Not using any sheet music can lift a few eyebrows, so reassuring them you still succeed is smart. Don't worry and good luck!

Furthermore, being part of the symphony of various orchestral sections is an exhilarating experience. Playing alongside Japanese counterparts in a music exchange tour to Japan was a priceless privilege"our seamless musical collaboration was truly magical considering our language barrier. Music is special to me as it defines my intangible aspects; my love for creativity and collaboration, and strive for perfection."

I corrected a few grammatical errors; add a ":" where I took out the semicolon; change "is" to "was"

Other than that, great essay!