College of Arts and Sciences: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
Just breathe. That's what I tell myself, while I'm worked up about something, whether that something is a big deal or not. I'm a perfectionist, so I've been told, always trying to make things fit ideally into the proper place. But being a perfectionist is something that causes anxiety and headache. Learning to relax and letting the pieces fall where they may is quite a challenge.
In order to achieve perfection, one must do the unthinkable and perform tasks that only Gods could perform. But is that really possible? Is perfection obtainable? In the film the Black Swan, directed by Darren Aronofsky, the main character, Nina, strives to be the picture perfect ballerina. Her passion for dance is so extreme that she makes herself physically and emotionally ill over being perfect.
As Nina's sanity slowly vanished, I became more unsettled by the effect perfection had on her. I realized that becoming perfect is a lifelong challenge that is ultimately impossible to reach. Nina spent her days and nights nailing her dance in order for her to perfect each move, but what she learned was that it wasn't only the moves that were important; it was her character that had to develop within the dance.
Nina's lunacy was unsettling for me to watch. If reaching perfection causes one to lose all self control than is that really perfection? Losing yourself over trying to reach the impossible isn't worth the nailing every move and making every detail faultless. Perhaps I can only be the best I can be and nothing more. If that's not perfection than what else can perfection be?
Solid answer right here. Flows quite well in my opinion. The problem though is the overwhelming amount of rhetorical questions. Cut a few of them out please.
And just a personal thing, maybe keep it all in first person?
If reaching perfection causes one to lose all self control than is that really perfection? Losing yourself over trying to reach the impossible isn't worth the nailing every move and making every detail faultless.
It would make the essay that much more personal.
Wow, spot on attack of the prompt. There are few casual phrases used, but I think the level of articulation in other places compensates for that. Only suggestion, "If reaching perfection causes one to lose all self control than is that really perfection?" Than should probably be then. Otherwise, a brilliant essay.
...ill over the need to achieve perfection. being perfect. It is the need, not being perfect, that does the action in this sentence. IF you see why I revised it that way, you can do it a different way that is more consistent with your own style of writing... like, you can do this:
ill over the ideal of perfection. being perfect.
As Nina's sanity slowly vanished, I became more unsettled by the effect perfection had on her.--Again, it is not perfection that had an effect; it is her thought pattern. It is her fixation.
If reaching perfection causes one to lose all self control than is that really perfection?---awesome... good call.
This essay needs some more examples of the ways you acted like a perfectionist, because that is what makes the connection between you and the character and also what makes possible the emotional content of the essay.
:-)
