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"When learning don't take the easy path" - Your reasons for transferring, etc.


ro51092 2 / 4  
Nov 13, 2010   #1
Towards the my high school career, I sometimes wondered to myself, "What made the quality of my education so great? More importantly, how can I enhance my education in college?" Reflecting on my tenure as a student, I can safely say that the elements of my schooling which made my education so great, were the intellectual challenges, the constant interaction with a greater community, and traditions that truly made me belong to that larger community.

Ever since I was young, I was always taught that learning is never done through "taking the easy path." Throughout my career as a student, I adhered to this notion, seldom, if ever, taking the path of least resistance. I am a firm believer in the notion that one learns most effectively when challenged, which is one of the main reasons I want to transfer schools. While I have been intellectually stimulated at Binghamton University, I am often left wanting for more: more of a challenge, more of an opportunity for my curiosity to be piqued. I miss the constant intellectualism I was accustomed to in high school, a large part of what made my high school experience, not to mention my education as a whole, so great. I am looking for a more rigorous academic experience, which is perhaps the most crucial reason for my desire to transfer.

In the same way that a transmission provides a means for an automobile to apply its raw power, a community provides a means for fostering an educated mind, and allowing it to apply its knowledge. In becoming a well-rounded individual, there is no substitute for a close-knit community that helps one develop socially and morally. I firmly believe that nearly as much learning is done outside the classroom as is done in the classroom, which explains why I crave an intimate feel to my college experience, where I would not be just a part of a group of students, but a family bound with rich tradition and culture. Despite being active in numerous organizations and clubs on campus, I do not feel an emotional connection or a sense of camaraderie.

Just like my peers, my goal at the end of college is to become a more worldly, aware, diverse and knowledgeable individual. However, more importantly, I plan using the education I receive in college towards a career in medicine, where, just like my college years, I would be giving back to my community every bit as much as it has given me. With an education adhering to my ideals, I have little doubt that I can achieve these goals.

xXCandyAngelzXx 1 / 4  
Nov 14, 2010   #2
I think the essay is really good. The only little mistake i saw was, Towards the my high school career, I sometimes wondered to myself, "What made the quality of my education so great? More importantly, how can I enhance my education in college?"
OP ro51092 2 / 4  
Nov 15, 2010   #3
My main concern was that my points were not made concretely, as well as the flow. I'd love to get some feedback regarding that.

@CandyAngel: Thank you.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Nov 23, 2010   #4
This is well written, and it definitely will impress the reader, but it lacks focus because you do not establish a cause. You stay very vague... and the impression you make is that of a serious student without a cause...

Giving back to the community is god, but it is too broad. You can zero in on your specific intentions. The years roll by quickly, so if you are going to make a big splash in the community in these coming years you need to make a plan. What is your plan for getting the kind of education that will enable you to best contribute? This essay is a great arrow, but it needs an arrowhead. It needs a point that identifies you, a specific intention. Otherwise, it is too general. If you have given serious thought to a career in medicine, you probably have areas of specialization in mind, and they can be your arrowhead for the essay. What are you, specifically, all about? :-)


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