why FSU; 'learning is the only way i can better myself and grow as a person'

Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you, and why?" The essay should be one page in length (no more than 500 words)

.All these characteristic go hand and hand to make a well round individual,but the one that mostly apply to me is learning. As a proud first generation Haitian American female eduction is important to me very much .learning is the only way i can better myself and grow as a person . I never really understood why I had to go to school every day and do loads of homework till a couple years ago. I discovered learning is the most important thing we have and without learning we middle class citizen would not be able to succeed in life . Unlike tom Anderson (myspace creator ) i cant just drop out of school and expected to become a multimillionaire like him . This is unlikely to happen to the average Joe because without the detection to learn I wont ever be able to achieve my fullest potential in anything I do . But with eduction comes learning and with learning comes knowledge. because knowledge is power like sir francis bacon said . Learning gives me a opportunity to better myself so I can all I can be and be able to help my family and community by giving then the knowledge I learned to better themselves also. I may not be the smarts's of them all but with the help of fsu I know I can acquire the right learning tools to be successful in life .because fsu represent learning mostly out of these characteristics . an will help prep me to be the best I can be for the better .

You need to work on your grammar, capitalization, and punctuation. The reference to Tom the MySpace created is a little out dated, I would look for a new person to put. Overall though, this is good! Best of luck! Go Noles!! And please look at my essay!!