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When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change

Camilabido 6 / 11  
Jan 7, 2015   #1
Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

I stepped in the Dominican Republic chancellery, and walked into the MUN General Assembly on Disarmament and International Security. I was excited to be here. I would be working with others on solving the problem of nuclear proliferation in the Middle East. As the representative of India, I made sure that I had thoroughly researched the issue and had developed possible solutions to the matter. As I took my place at the committee table I felt an adrenalin rush that increased with the intensity of the discussions; as I listened to the other countries stand up with such passion to defend their position I was little bit intimidated but still ready to question and debate as needed in order to solve the issue. I was holding a difficult position as my country was in constant threat by nations standing in the room, I proceeded to read my speech in which I stated that I wouldn't move on with the solution if the safety of my citizens wasn't guaranteed through a just agreement with these threatening countries, this created a frenzy in the room leading to another debate, as the heat of the confrontation raised, I founded myself producing ideas faster than ever, in that same Caucus Pakistan and my delegation were getting to a peace agreement when the Secretary-General walked into the room with a crisis sent to us by the Security Council, the crisis stated that a Pakistani terrorist group attacked the capital of India, as this was a civil act we couldn't sanction the Pakistani government, I was put in the spotlight to deliver an efficient answer to a complex diplomatic issue in a matter of seconds, the fervency of the moment filled the room as discussions and negotiations were happening, we managed to solve the crisis and make a resolution we all agreed in, we voted, the resolution passed and so the MUN was closed with a round of applause and the sound of a hammer. All of this happened in what it felt like 2 sec. When in reality was 2 days. It happened so fast I couldn't even grasp it, it wasn't after it was done that I realized that everything was different, that those 2 days changed my life forever.

Before this MUN I didn't understood everything that is on the line everyday, I was a victim of the social reification, I was distant of the world and everything happening around me, but after being able to experience this, to see world working as a whole for the first time in my life, I realized how these problems don't only affect one part, but all of us, and that's why is our responsibility to fix them. My sociological mindset developed from the realization that you can't treat a disease you don't know, therefore in order to successfully fix these problems you need to identify their origins, causes and motivation.

"When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny." Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym
vangiespen - / 4,136 1449  
Jan 7, 2015   #2
Camila, you need not constantly introduce yourself in every common essay prompt that you write. You are not writing a legal document, you are writing an academic essay and believe me, the admissions officer already knows you are because the attached documents and forms tell him exactly who he is reading about. Saying your name at the start of every essay is not an effective hook. It does not serve a definite purpose that could help advance or enhance the content of the essay either. Delete the start of this essay and instead, set up the scene inside the chancellery for us. What was is like as you stepped into the hall? How did you feel? What were your misgivings? What were you excited about? Those as the things you have to say which may create an interesting hook for the reader, compelling them to read more about your experience in this arena.

This is all about a central identity story and using the MUN as a platform is something unique. What you need to do at this moment is build upon that identity that you have come to realize you have. Tell us how you became socially inclined through your experience at the MUN. What solutions did you personally develop and how was it received by the committee? Are these the reasons why you became socially conscious? What were you like in terms of socio-civic mindedness prior to your MUN exposure? Show us who you were before so that we can understand why the MUN experience helped shape a new identity for you as a person. That is an idea that is rather under-developed in your current version.

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