Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
It is a chilly autumn and as I have been brainstorming what to write about, I have been staring at it the whole time. Outside my window stands a large tree whose leaves have changed color and as I hear the wind howl, I see the leaves fall. I am no different than one of these leaves. The past 18 years of my life coincide with the life cycle of the tree leaf right outside my window.
Just like a leaf relies on a tree, I relied early in life on the the support of my family. My family has given me all the nutrition to let me grow, both physically, mentally, and intellectually. I come from a very diverse and devout family. My father's mother is an immigrant from the Philippines and she has taught me of her culture and ultimately has instilled in me the tolerance on people different from myself in looks and in actions. My family has also exposed me to a religious and devout lifestyle. I attended a Catholic school until 9th grade. My experiences there have taught me the value of generosity and honesty and love. We often had fundraisers to help those in need, one of which that I particularly remember is making paper mâché goats that were auctioned off to buy goats for the Dominican Republic. At the time it seemed miniscule that a goat would provide much, but I learned just how much one goat could help those in need. My family has always been around to support me and have provided me with all I've needed to develop a strong moral conscious of tolerance, love, honesty, and generosity, but, just as the leaves, I cannot rely on them for everything.
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PLEASE, any help or criticism is welcome, I've been dying to get this done on time.
this is good.. it shows growth for you as an individual. i really like the imagery that you show by comparing yourself to the tree leaves.
also, do not use contractions because it is not formal
My father's mother is an immigrant from the Philippines and she has taught me of her culture and ultimately has instilled in me the tolerance on of people different from myself in looks and in actions.
My family has always been around to support me and have provided me with all I'veneeded to develop a strong moral conscious of tolerance, love, honesty, and generosity, but, just as the leaves, I cannot rely on them for everything.
Over the past few months, I have witnessed the changing color of the leaves. In spring, they bud into similar bright green leaves, but in autumn, each leaf changes colors into a distinct shade and pattern. Since entering high school, I feel as though I am one of these changing leaves. As I grow older, I realize that, though I can always count on my family and friends to help me, I must begin to become independent. The leaves are eachEach leaf is taking on theirits own individual color just as I have begun to develop my own personality. Though I will always keep the values provided to me by my family, I will also be independent. InFor the past three years of high school, I have made new friends and learned many new things, but most importantly, I have developed into an individual. I have participated in soccer, football, and track, each of which has allowed me to develop toughness and perseverance. I have become a member of National Honor Society which has further ingrained in me the virtue of generosity.
As I approach graduation, I know I will be released into the adult world. Just as the leaves must leave their comfort zone and cut themselves off from the nutrients of the tree, I, too, must enter into my future on my own. The leaves are thrown into chaos by the wind as they fall, and I know that I will face obstacles that will create chaos in my life. I look forward to finding my future through furthering my education and further developing my personality. The leaves must fall from the tree in order to spread the seeds of the tree, just as I will have to venture out from my family to spread their influence on me to others. All nature must grow, and as Abraham Lincoln once said, "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." Everyone, myself included, must grow and become an individual, which I look forward to continuing during the next phase of my life.
Thanks, one question: if it says 250 word minimum, what should the max be? is this too long?
Nicely written. The problem, though, is that it seems like a recycled essay, because it is so good and at the same time not quite right for the prompt. It seems like an essay you feel good about and decided to use for this prompt instead of writing a new one that is about a experience, achievement, risk, etc.
One way to fix it might be to add a sentence to the end of the first paragraph to specify in a certain way exactly what experience this is talking about.
:-)
