Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source. (250-650 words)
By the time I finished my summer school in Europe, I felt as if my mind was emptied like it had been just awakened from a deep hibernation. Studying in a different country and meeting different people from the globe appeals to me that I wish the summer school could last longer. The diversity of people's different thoughts infiltrated my body making me realize that there is much for me to explore in the world.
It was the first time that I had a chance to participate in a class interactively outside of my home country. The summer school was short, only ten days; however, the influence might be lifelong. We all knew same the fact that refugees and immigrants had made a tremendous impact on Europe and the Europe Union, but some of us thought immigrant crisis would result in economic recession while others thought immigrants, which can provide scarce, cheap labor, would boost the economy after all. The gap between our points of view still intrigues me, which finally attracts me to study abroad, and I cannot help thinking of the time when I first signed up a course on Coursera.
The first course I signed up was How to Change the World, a course focusing on the environment, health care and common good. The Internet has connected the world, while Coursera provides a platform which can gather learners who have same interests. The course was exciting and innovating, though I know I am interested in that field but I am not that interested in the field. I did not find what I love until I find a coding course, Machine Learning, which teaches the computer the learning method and let the computer learn to solve the problem based on various training sets like artificial intelligence.
Early contact with coding practice in Coursera not only enables me to get familiar with the way computer works but also helps me expand my understanding of the code in my college coding course, where I finally found computer science attractive and decided to pursue a career accompanying with code.
Therefore, the reason why I choose to transfer to the US is that my current university cannot provide me with both rigorous academic program and competing classmates. People suggests me transfer to another major at the same university, but I came to realize that my current college was more geosciences oriented, which means it only focus on the geosciences problems instead of cutting edge computer questions, while I seek after a more math and algorithm based program. Also, I need students who would challenge me at the college just as the teachers did. The atmosphere of thought experiments is missing in my current university. Sometimes, if I come up with a logical deduction of a hypothesis, no one is interested in it and all they want to know is just the exact answer to the problems, instead of the fundamental logic behind the question and deeper understanding of the newly learned idea which, I think, could be actively strengthened and reached by logical deduction based on the new idea.(I believe this sentence is wordy and don't know how to fix it. Or maybe choose another detail of" I need students who would challenge me at the college just as the teachers did"?)What's more, professors are not accessible and supportive in my current university because there are just too many students in the college and teachers hardly points out different and thought-provoking ideas and approaches which are not going to be tested in the finals. After all, most lectures in the current university are still exam oriented while I am looking for a university with a strong research and application tradition.
Studying in a US college helps me not only succeed academically but also grow up as a person. More than ever before, we live in a globalized society, so it is crucial to have an international college experience, especially a combination of a rising nation and the strongest nation. Meanwhile, after having finished nearly two years of higher education in China, I come to wondering how it would be like to study in a different culture and try an entirely new lifestyle. My previous summer school experience is just a mere attempt, and I am fully prepared for the next two years in a new environment.
Even though I currently study at the China University of Geosciences, a well-regarded and key university in China, for having chosen a technology-related major, I knew that leaving China and going to a first-world country would let me have a greater perspective of the field that I desired to pursue. Studying in a different country is not an easy task, and I am ready to embrace the challenges and difference that I would meet in the near future.
Some notes on the essay:
1, I would like to write this essay in a tie-back model, but I feel the tie-back I have written is a little weird or not that tie-backed.
2, The essay consists of anecdote, experience/interest, goals, why transfer and conclusion and I'm wondering how does this essay work out. I also think the first four paragraphs, the anecdote, experience and goals might be burdensome and too long and I usually write many useless explanations, so how do you think about this essay? This passage is too long, so some deleting suggestion would be highly appreciated.
3, I would like to apply for top 20-50 in the US, so how do you think about this essay and "voice" overall? If you feel this essay is pretty bad, just say it and don't hesitate. After all, good medicine tastes bad.
This essay is still the first draft, so please feel free to revise!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Moahua, The story about the eye opening experience that you had in summer school does run a bit long and tends to overtake the actual purpose of the essay. Rather than presenting the tie-back version of that story, I suggest that you do a reflective presentation instead. If you turn the summer learning abroad experience into the basis of your desire to change schools, then it becomes a more supportive statement. However, you need not go into great detail about it. You just need to summarize the fact that you enjoyed the experience and missed it when you went back to your regular school. Then you can use that as the basis for your need to switch schools. Offer only the most important comparisons of your learning experience abroad with your local school.
You have to make clear comparisons between the schools rather than general claims that you have at the moment. As for the voice of the essay, it is a bit boring at the moment because of the lack of focus on the reasons and objectives that you wish to achieve once you transfer schools. These need to be academic changes and objectives which clearly, cannot be met by your school. Explain how your chosen overseas school can help you achieve it. It is important that you mention the school you are transferring to specifically because it will show the amount of consideration that you have given to your desire to change schools.
