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Legos (Admission Topic for Carnegie Mellon University)


732yankeefan011 1 / -  
Sep 27, 2009   #1
Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

As I sat around the house looking for something to do, I saw a box sitting on the floor in the corner of my room. I, being the curious six year old kid that I was, walked over to it and stared at it. It was a brand new box of Legos, it was sitting in my closet since Christmas time because I had forgot to open it. I was preoccupied with my new game boy games, boardgames, and playing with my friends. Unfortunately, this day I had no friends to play with and I had just been bored out of mind of videogames. So I opened the box and began to arrange the pieces according to the directions. The directions had a picture of a racetrack on it, the supposed end result when all the pieces were put together. Intrigued that all these little pieces could be put together and somehow come out with racetrack, I sat for an hour or so and built it. Little did I know that my life would be changed.

From a young age I knew I wanted to be an engineer. As I got older, I grew to love designing and building things with Legos. I liked the idea that I could come up with an idea in my head, design it, and then build it. It satisfied me because it was a lot more fun to play with things that I made than things that I could buy. I also liked to take apart things like my bike and put them back together just so that I could see if I could do it.

When I reached High School, I took a tech prepatory class to further learn to design and build. In that class I learned the processes of how to make real life things such as bridges, cranes, airplanes, and cars, making my interest in engineering grow. I was also able to create models of those structures through wood and I won nearly every competition in that class, beating out juniors and seniors when I was only a freshmen. For example, we created cranes out of balsa wood and the object of the competition was to see who's crane could lift the most weight. While all the other cranes either broke or could not lift the weight, mine won. It were simple things like that which sparked my interest in engineering. I have always had a desire to find out how an engineer worked, and in the summer after my junior year, I got my opportunity.

Two weeks after my junior year of high school ended I was able to follow a real mechanical engineer around at the Lakehurst Naval Base to see what it would be like to be an engineer. I really liked it as I got exposure not only to the business side of it where there would be international conference calls and three dimensional models of whatever they were designing that needed to be made, but I also received a personal tour of the hangar facilities where they produced the designs. This made me realize that I could actually be an engineer.

I feel that Carnegie Mellon would be a perfect fit for me. By working hard in the engineering program, the university could really help me reach my full potential and not only become a mechanical engineer, but become a good one. I have chosen to apply to the Carnegie Institute of Technology at Carnegie Mellon as my top choice school because I feel it has the best resources to help me reach the top. The wide array of internships offered by CMU will give me the chance to get a huge competitive edge on everyone else who graduates with an engineering degree. I know that my desire to excel at Carnegie Mellon equal the vast wealth of opportunities that await me in the future when people know I graduated from CMU.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 29, 2009   #2
This is a great theme around which to organize an engineering-related essay. (They are often dull.) You need to break the very long first paragraph into two or even three paragraphs. I'd also recommend adding some detail about what you witnessed when you shadowed a mechanical engineer and then, if you can, say a bit more about what you aspire to do after graduation from CMU, perhaps bringing the legos back in to tie the conclusion to the introduction.


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