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Lehigh Supplement essays


alpal 3 / 5  
Dec 7, 2008   #1
I need help finding grammar errors and I want to make sure I am answering the questions correctly. I also need to cut 119 characters from the first one. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific reasons. What contributions will you make during your time at Lehigh?

Growing up, Lehigh was part of my life. I attended football tailgates with my family and I met my Dad's fraternity brothers. I heard family members tell stories of their inspirational time at Lehigh and I saw the success and numerous opportunities Lehigh brought to them. I researched the school and was impressed with their experienced professors. When I looked at Lehigh's wide variety of courses and activities, I found myself already picking classes. After a tour of the gorgeous campus, I was sold. I am now sure that Lehigh is the perfect place for me, and I want it to continue to be an influence in my life.

I am not only convinced that Lehigh will give me the high quality education I am looking for, but also that I can be an active and positive influence on Lehigh's environment. Part of what makes a college community successful is the passion of the students. I will contribute an enthusiastic attitude toward all aspects of the academic experience. I am ready to interact, experience, and invent. During my time at Lehigh I will get involved in many activities and take the initiative of leadership roles.

What values do you believe are important in fostering cohesive, successful, and supportive campus unity? Please provide us with details from an experience that you had that has shaped these values.

To have true campus unity, it is crucial to have an open mind about other's opinions. Students must be accepting of new ideas while trying to find their personal beliefs. It is also important to be dependable for the group. If every member of the campus is loyal to their school, works together, and is open to new ideas, a campus unity can be achieved.

Every time I complete a group project, I gain experience with these values. For one project I had to work with a group of students to create a radio and television advertisement and a menu for the product SPAM. At first, this seemed like an impossible task because everyone cringed at even the thought of the disgusting meat imposter. The only way we could succeed with the project was if we approached it with an open mind and gave the product a chance. The group united when each person in contributed their strengths in writing, cooking, dancing, or filming. Working together with an open mind made the task possible.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 8, 2008   #2
I grew up with Lehigh University. I attended football tailgates with my family, and I met my Dad's fraternity brothers. I heard family members tell stories of their inspirational times at Lehigh and I saw the success and numerous opportunities Lehigh brought to them. I researched the school and was impressed with their experienced professors. The wide variety of courses and activities, I found myself already picking classes. After a tour of the gorgeous campus, I was sold.

This sentence does not say anything new. --I am now sure that Lehigh is the perfect place for me, and I want it to continue to be an influence in my life. Maybe you should get rid of it, and end the first paragraph with "I was sold."

First essay has a lot of good content!

2nd Essay

True campus unity requires everyone to have an open mind about the opinions of other people.

Wow, both essays are entertaining and worth reading. Good luck at Lehigh.
vkwang 7 / 16  
Dec 8, 2008   #3
i think they are both really great essays, its just in the first one there is a lot of "I"
volleyball09 11 / 12  
Dec 8, 2008   #4
just a suggestion:

instead of saying "I am now sure that Lehigh is the perfect place for me" say "I am certain that Lehigh is the perfect place for me"

sounds better that way. i hope this helps.


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