Prompt: Who are the influential people in your life? How have they contributed to your development as a person?
This was a bit of a toughie because I could only have a maximum of 250 words and I wanted to explain more. Also, I realize that the prompt states PEOPLE and not PERSON. That said, should I go back and add more people who are involved in my life? It will probably be a drag but I gotta do what i gotta do :/ Anyway...
Ty Lehman influenced my life more than I thought anyone ever could in such a short amount of time. Not only do I consider him to be my best friend but also one of the most crucial elements to the evolution of my personality and the way I go about my day-to-day life. When I first met Ty in high school, I was only a freshman and he was a junior. I thought he was so funny, confident, and charming that I knew I could not pass this person up so I began talking and joking with Ty in the hopes of building a friendship. We hit it off immediately and continued talking for the rest of the year.
As our friendship began to bloom over the next year, I realized how much Ty was starting to affect my life. Through talking to him, I began to realize how precious life truly was. He taught me that even though you have to be cautious, you also have to let yourself free to wander and explore, and to step outside the box of the small-town society. Ty gave me the courage and the self-esteem to let me be myself. He gave me the confidence that I never had before, which allowed me to go after aspects of life that before I would have deemed far out of my reach. With Ty, I have learned that friendship is real, that true friendship exits and it is much better than I could have ever imagined it would be.
Very good essay! I find it very difficult to write essays that are personal. Perhaps you could expand on how exactly Ty had this effect on you? Like what specific instances?
Great Job :)
It's a great essay and pretty emotional! I would just fix up some grammatical errors and as sidbush said, what did he do to cause you to have this realization?
Otherwise, I liked it a lot. :)
Ifit is possible to combine 2 sentences and retain all the meaning, do it, because that adds intensity:
influenced my life more than I thought anyone ever could in such a short amount of time. Not only do I consider Ty Lehman to be my best friend but also one of the most crucial elements to in the evolution of my personality.
I can cut out this part, because it goes without saying that anything that can influence your personality can influence your actions day to day--> and the way I go about my day-to-day life.
As our friendship began to bloom over the next year, I realized how much Ty was starting to affect my life. This sentence does not serve any important function in the essay. With every sentence of the essay, do something cool to the reader's state of mind, either by introducing a meaningful idea or by building meaningfully on the single, main idea of the paragraph.
One paragraph = one idea
:-)
