Any comments or revisions are deeply appreciated.
CommonApp: "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."
Four Letters Long
Tsui-merely four letters long but guarantees an incorrect pronunciation every time. I have never tired correcting this translation mistake formed years ago when my parents emigrated from Taiwan. Together, my last name (t-s-u-i) is pronounced as "tray"-I know. I wonder why too.
I have found that some 3,113 Americans share the same last name as me, but mine is as close as you will ever enunciate a silent ray -something I have learned to value. Though the word eventually became a humorous segway into interesting introductions, I spent my childhood uncomfortable of it
Ever since I was five, I was embarrassed by my last name, especially when it was mistaken for Tushy. During roll call, I became anxious as the alphabetical names were called from A to S and finally to T. Compared to the preceding classmates (Smelkinson, Smith, Tagat, Thomason...), my name seemed like a third nostril. As each teacher took a stab at my name, there was always a catch in the throat, a sheepish apology, and then a "But where is the 'r'?" It was no surprise I became wary of my differences from my classmates.
But because no one else had such a perplexing surname, I was able use it to my benefit.
At the first pre-season track meet in my sophomore year, the coach was taking attendance. I began to wonder what he would call me in front of the other hundred cross-country runners as he bellowed "Megan Pulliam!" with confidence. And like any of his colleagues would, he stumbled. But instead of shrugging off his question, I took a chance and humored him. "I don't see it either," I suggested. His response was nothing fabulous, but he shook his head and chuckled, allowing me to sit back satisfied. For the very first time, my last name hadn't been a nuisance. Without the awkward shrug, I eliminated awkward and replaced it with a teacher to student bond. My years became more enjoyable, and in classes of outstanding students, I was remembered not only because of my contributions, but also for my name. After 13 years, my last name achieved respect. It became as laudable as my contributions.
Such a combination of four letters has baffled everyone from English teachers to telemarketers to my own parents. And it can't be changed. I can only play the cards I am dealt; Gradually, I crafted those four letters into my trademark.
For some years now, I have left my signature on some flavorful artwork. Usually, the objects are dull as jugs, but are still painted vibrantly with medium, capturing common-ground object in new perspective. Around town, people consisting surprisingly of parents and students know of my name but not of my face (up close at least). This, I have no doubt, is a result of hard work, work to which I've dedicated 16 hours a day in front of my easel, reciting half-a-millennium-old idioms, recalling countless theatrical expressions, countless revisions upon revisions multiplied by more revisions. And, finally, people are astounded to know how attentively I am capable of listening for my last name (which can be pronounced in all sorts of odd combinations) while simultaneously finding the third derivative of sin(3x5 +2x). So, though the hard work was all up to me, the obscurity of my last name is how I am remembered.
The name Tsui is now a suggestion of hard, honest work and originality. Behind the name, my ideas are constantly developed and improved with the audience in mind, fortified by various questions: Is there a better way to do this? What is the purpose of this? How do other people see this? Do I get the message across? My effort and thoughtfulness is applied to all aspects of my life-my artwork, my papers, my projects, my clubs, my relationships-and will surely be applied at [name of college] as well.
There is no doubt that countless four letter words exist. Some such as fear, love, hope, hate hold the most sentiment in the world. Other's like bass, pitt, cage or rice are common, but from my point of view, underappreciated when you compare it to name like Tsui, any of those words might seem like a pleasant alternative. But while this word may not compel so much feeling as hope, it surely holds a lot more than pitt. Now, I've somehow made it not so obscure. Point and case, just how do you now pronounce this word-Tsui.
In response to what tkkt1 said:
I understand where you're trying to go with the essay, but you're not directly answering the prompt. It says to evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma. I'm guessing you went with a significant experience, but you have not described one in detail. I suggest you start with one anecdote instead of the series of mini-stories that you have now. After all, the prompt does ask for "a" significant experience.
I think since it's the common app essay, you can just select the last option, the write-about-your-own-topic one, instead of the significant experience option.
Great essay about names... I can totally relate to how you feel about having an extremely uncommon last name because both my first and last name are unusual and hard to pronounce:)
Again, it's great overall except a few sentences here and there that are somewhat awkward, like this one:
Other's like bass, pitt, cage or rice are heavily underappreciated when you compare it to name like Tsui, any of those words-bass, pitt, cage or rice-might seem like a pleasant alternative.
Lol, you lost me in that sentence:) What are you trying to say there? In any case, "other's" should be "others", etc.
Work which I've dedicated 16 hours a day in front of my easel, reciting half-a-millennium-old idioms, recalling countless theatrical expressions, countless revisions
Combine this with the previous sentence. Change to "This, I have no doubt, is a result of hard work, work
to which I have dedicated 16 hours a day in front of my easel..."
Anyway, good luck with your application!
To Calico:I can understand how difficult it must be for you. And I will most definitely take up your suggestion about the CommonApp Topic. I was also thinking about that, but I thought that my essay was too normal. I still think it's normal, I just can't seen how it's really a "significant" event as tkkt1 as pointed out. Thanks a lot for the support and suggestions. You'll see them in my revisions!
To Hailey Cross: I certainly agree with your statement. So far, I haven't taken the sentence out, but instead tried to clarify it with more sentences. I don't typically like to branch out a problem, but that sentence is an important point, yet I still can't think of a way to phrase it correctly. So..just for now...
Thank you for your comments, as well!
Hey there. So I still need some help reviewing, but the bigger kahuna is bolded. I'm going to need some condensing. Is anyone up for the challenge?
Without the awkward shrug, I eliminated awkward and replaced it with a teacher to student bond. My years became more enjoyable, and in classes of outstanding students, I was remembered not only because of my contributions, but also for my name. After 13 years, my last name achieved respect. It became as laudable as my contributions.
