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Licking tigers - UCHICAGO- favorites supplement-- Dr. Seuss and painting

helloimyellow 9 / 25 3  
Dec 29, 2013   #1
Share with us a few of your favorite books, poems, authors, films, plays, pieces of music, musicians, performers, paintings, artists, blogs, magazines, or newspapers. Feel free to touch on one, some, or all of the categories listed, or add a category of your own. (500 words) Please help with grammar/ awkward phrasings/ general feedback! Thanks :)

"I licked thirty tigers today!" I announced in disjointed English. My parents exchanged a bewildered look and silently questioned the teachings of American schools. I had just returned from my first day of preschool where I had read my first English book. Even after moving to America, it wasn't until I entered preschool that I began hearing English on a daily basis. With preschool came Lunchables, naptime, and Dr. Seuss. Eventually, my parents realized that licking tigers was not, as they had feared, my objective in life, but rather the single English phrase I had rehearsed throughout that day. The Seuss masterpiece "I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today" marked my introduction to English literature and so, though my days in Seussville are far behind me, it remains to be my favorite book.

Summer of 2005 found me sprinting towards the closing doors of the neighborhood bookstore, clenching a ten dollar bill, sporting broken glasses, and bleeding from the forehead as I fended off a masked cult member with a broken tree branch. "Expelliarmus!" I shrieked at my attacker. Kevin arced through the air, losing his Death Eater mask in his pretend flight. "You can't always use that!" he protested. But of course I could. I was Harry Potter. At midnight, I ran home triumphant, whooping gleefully and swinging a brand new just-released copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince over my head.

The next day, I shouted "I give up!" and glared at a blank canvas. I fidgeted on my stool and looked sheepishly towards Grandpa Hong, my art teacher. He smiled patiently and gestured

towards the banner above me. I didn't have to look to know that it said "Persevere" in curling calligraphy. I stared at Grandpa Hong, silently begging to paint something else- a photograph, a model, anything else- anything, really. "A true artist doesn't only copy the paintings of others, he creates his own," Grandpa Hong recited, pointing at the canvas. "Create." I did.

Three years later, I sat in the waiting room of the Cincinnati Children's Hospital. My brother had sprained his arm and now waged a truly-impressive war against the restrictive sling. Desperate, I snatched a copy of National Geographic and tried to seize his attention with an environmental word search. He kicked the turkey-emblazoned November issue out of my hands and howled with renewed strength. I tried again, this time with Highlights Magazine. "Look, Aaron, you're supposed to find the pilgrim." I may have been an atheist but his instant captivation could have converted me. Since then, I have hoarded countless copies of Highlights, flipping to the Hidden Pictures page with my brother each time.

As much as Dr. Seuss had inspired me to be a reader, J.K. Rowling has inspired me to be a writer; Grandpa Hong had awakened a painter and Highlights had transformed me into a big sister. And so, even as I roll my suitcase off to college, you'll be sure to find the gang of favorites still intact.

llsir 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2013   #2
In the first paragraph, the sentence "Even after moving to America...I began hearing English on a daily basis" seems out of place. Perhaps a better way to incorporate would be to make a clearer connection between how reading this book eventually improved your English because the Dr. Seuss book marked the beginning of preschool which is when you began to hear English on a daily basis, etc.

In the second paragraph, I was a bit confused about the "masked cult member." I thought you were being attacked by like the KKK!! But then I figured out you were referring to the Deatheaters. Perhaps replacing that phrase with Deatheater would clear up any confusion :)

In the third paragraph, the transition "the next day" could be replaced with something better. You use "summer of 2005" in your previous paragraph and "three years later" in your next. I'd be consistent and keep up with the time-telling transitions that involve a longer period of time like those. If the art lessons were around the same time as Harry Potter, use "that same summer."

Also, I've never heard of Highlights. Maybe you could explain what type of magazine it is?
Great ending! I loved this essay, it a very cute/humorous/enjoyable :)
OP helloimyellow 9 / 25 3  
Dec 29, 2013   #3
Thanks for the read! I will definitely work on clarifying a few things. Highlights...hmm, you might've seen it when you were little, it was pretty popular where I live at least XD Chidrens' magazine, I'll see how I can clear that one up :)

More comments appreciated!
plee24 3 / 21 8  
Dec 29, 2013   #4
Other than the clarifications that were suggested by llsir (I have never heard of Highlights magazine either), which are definitely points to look and revise, I absolutely loved your essay- the catchy beginning, the chronological flow, how you tied together your favorites in your conclusion.. You have a very prominent voice that shows through in this supplement. Good luck with the rest of your application(s)!

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